11/15/23

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, November 15th.

National Clean Out Your Fridge Day

Please! My goodness – you EAT there. Well, not there but like… the food you eat is there.

And now, the news.

Fatal Charter Bus Crash

-via CNN

Starting with a truly awful story out of Etna, Ohio, where at least six people are dead, including a number of students, after a charter bus was involved in a crash that involved five vehicles. At least 18 other people were transported to local hospitals.

I hate starting the show this way, because it’s genuinely terrible, but I also can’t follow up the other stories with this one, because, as you’ll see, that’s worse.

The cause of the investigation is ongoing but, per officials, will take some time.

Government Avoids Shutdown

-via AP News, NY Times, and The Guardian

And then over to the House (really no good transition from that terrible story to this one, so we just have to power through)… on a 336-95 vote, the House has voted to pass a spending bill that, once given the thumbs up emoji from the Senate and Biden, will prevent a government shutdown.

Let’s dive into those numbers, shall we?

For the yes votes that was 209 Democrats and 127 Republicans. On the no votes, it was 2 Democrats and 93 Republicans.

Once again, and I know it’ll get spun into “look how great and normal and totally not an absolute suspicious little creep Speaker Johnson is! He got a budget passed!” let me be clear here… this was a bipartisan bill, and more Democrats than Republicans voted for it.

This bill didn’t get passed because Mikey’s a good speaker. It got passed because the Democrats just want to get some dang work done.

Also, no you’re not misremembering – doing exactly what Mikey did here, relying on Democrats to get a budget passed, it what cost Kevin McCarthy his Speakership.

Hey, let’s check in on Kev. Let’s see how he’s doing these days:

Apparently, whilst walking the Congressional halls on Tuesday, McCarthy shoved Tim Burchett, a House Republican from Tennessee who, last month, was one of those who voted to oust McCarthy from the Speakership.

According to an NPR reporter, who was talk to Burchett while it happened, McCarthy shoved him, causing Burchett to lunge into the reporter. The reporter thought it was a joke. It was joke “And a chase ensued.”

Burchett called out, "why'd you elbow me in the back Kevin?! Hey Kevin, you got any guts!?" (Which… famously no)

They went back and forth for a minute, with Burchett calling him a chicken and Kevin continuing to walk away and act as if it didn’t happen.

It was a crazy moment in the House.

Senate Avoids Fist Fight

-via NBC News

Oddly, that story wasn’t even the craziest of the day, nor was it the only story about an altercation that almost lead to a fight.

Over in the Senate, Senator Mullin tried to fight, well it says here… a Teamster. A teamster! Senator Mullin, who used to be an MMA fight, which tells you all you need to know about his mentality, recalled an interaction they had on Twitter a few months earlier (no, I’m never calling it X. It’s dumb.)

In that exchange, they talked about possibly doing an MMA fight for charity after a different heated conversation at a different congressional hearing.

Mullin read the Teamster’s tweet out loud, which said: "Greedy CEO who pretends like he’s self made. In reality, just a clown & fraud. Always has been, always will be. Quit the tough guy act in these senate hearings. You know where to find me. Anyplace, Anytime cowboy." And then also included the hashtag “Little Man Syndrome” with a picture of Mullin using a pedestal at a podium.

(Side note – guys are so weird about their height!)

Cut to today, when Mullin said "Sir, this is a time; this is a place. You want to run your mouth? We can be two consenting adults. We can finish it here."

The teamster responded with "OK, that’s fine, perfect.”

"You want to do it now?"

"I'd love to do it right now.”

Then Mullin said, "Then stand your butt up then.” To which the teamster replied, "You stand your butt up.”

Mullin then stood up and starting taking his wedding ring off, and at that point Bernie was tired of everyone standing butts up and told Mullin to sit down because, impossibly, “You know, you’re a United States senator."

It ended with Mullin and the teamster agreeing to go have coffee together. Which… I’m glad they didn’t fight but wow, what an embarrassing end of an altercation.

Also, back over to the House, and this isn’t as crazy but it is confusing (and this is real, I’m not kidding) – Jake Sherman of Punchbowl News reported that George Santos is giving a baby a bottle on the House floor. But no one knows whose baby it is.

To quote Aaron Sorkin: What Kind of Day Has It Been?

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of… jeepers. I don’t know. Like, who’s baby is that? I know someone knows, it’s not just a random baby but this is the second time Santos just randomly had a baby. The first time someone asked if that was his baby and he walked off it with and said, “not yet.”

So, I’m not proud of anyone who hands him their baby, that’s for sure.

I don’t know – I guess I’m just proud of clean fridges.

But more than that… because it doesn’t take baking soda for you to smell nice… I’m proud of you.