11/03/23
Good morning! It’s Friday, November 3rd.
National Sandwich Day.
I’m gonna rock your noggin with some news and then, at the end, I’m gonna rock your tummy with a sandwich. Buckle up.
And now, the news.
House Passes Doomed Spending Bill
-via NY Times
Thanks for sticking with me yesterday. I just… needed a break. But it was a rough day… well a rough day and also, a rough day to need a break, but all the news broke.
So great ready, because if yesterday wasn’t an episode, today? Oh, today’s she’s an episode.
Let’s start with the Israel-Hamas war, where just minutes before I started this episode, the House passed a Republican-written spending bill tying $14.3 billion in military aid to Israel for to domestic spending cuts, defying a veto threat from President Biden that is in name only because it’s also facing bipartisan opposition in the Senate.
If you’re wondering how serious that opposition is in the Senate, lemme read you this quote from Senator Schumer from before the vote: “It still mystifies me that when the world is in crisis and we need to help Israel respond to Hamas, the G.O.P. thought it was a good idea to tie Israel aid to a hard-right proposal that will raise the deficit and is totally, totally partisan.”
And over in the House, Brad Schnieder of Illinois said this: “In my worst nightmares, I never thought I would be asked to vote for a bill cynically conditioning aid to Israel on ceding to the partisan demands of one party.”
But hey, this is the House under the uh… well I guess technically you’d call it leadership but I, personally, would call it buffoonery, of Speaker Michael “guns don’t kill people, hearts and a lack of Bible-readin’ kill people” Johnson.
Impossibly, somehow Johnson was able to say the following with a straight face: “I did not attach that for political purposes. I attached it because again, we’re trying to get back to the principle of fiscal responsibility here.”
Okay guy.
Memphis Officer Please Guilty
-via NY Times
Desmond Mills Jr, one of five former officers in Memphis who were charged in connection to the horrific beating and death of Tyre Nichols, is now the first of the five to change his plea to guilty to second-degree murder.
Prosecutors have recommended that Mills serve a 15-year sentence.
15-year-sentence and were I in charge of the world, this dude would never be able to ever hold any position of power again.
Ever.
Eric Adams’ Fundraiser Has House Searched
Brianna Suggs, a top fundraiser and long-time confidant, of New York City Mayor Eric Adams, had her home raided on Thursday. Agents didn’t say whether she was the target of an investigation.
News of the raid came shortly after the mayor abruptly canceled a planned meetings in D.C., including one with senior White House officials to discuss the migrant crisis.
Hours after the news of the raid broke, NY Times obtained a search warrant that suggested the raid was part of an investigation into whether Adams’ 2021 campaign conspired with the Turkish government to receive illegal foreign donations.
So this is… a little bit just of legal hot goss, and also could be something to talk about, eventually? We’ll seeeeeeeeee
I’m not a fan of this dude.
George Santos Still Has a Job for Now
-via AP News
I mentioned this yesterday but let’s really get into it –
George Santos, the beleaguered House rep who is under investigation for lying about, well I guess you’d have to call it, um, everything (but not for the fact that this dude still wore three layers even in the middle of a DC summer), survived the House vote to expel him.
Now, to be clear, he is still under a House ethics investigation. And so we’ll see what happens when that investigation is up, but in the meantime, this one was always kind of a hard battle ahead of that investigation, as it takes a 2/3 vote in the House to expel a current member.
Hey, you know what only takes a 50 percent plus one vote to expel a current House member? Next year’s election. And no, I don’t want him in the House that long. But also, it’s just fun to remind you that all of these folks are on the ballot next year.
Trump Crime Update Time
And speaking of fun…
Trump Crime Update Time!
Awkward Christmas, edition.
The boyz are back in town.
And by the boys, I mean – Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr.
And by town I mean… on the stand.
That’s right, Trump’s eldest boys took the stand in Trump New York City money crimes case.
And how’d they do? How’d they possibly explain things like, you know, signing documents?
Well according to Eric – how could he possibly be in trouble? “I pour concrete.” In your life, I mean truly in your heart of hearts, can you, in any way, imagine Eric Trump pouring concrete?
So yeah, Eric’s vibe in the case will be that he’s never even heard of a gortar. He was too focused on the concrete.
And as for Jr? His big take away is that he should have worn make-up.
“I should have worn make-up.”
He, too, has never heard of a gortar. He did sign off on statements, but “I had an obligation to listen to the people with intimate knowledge of those things. If they put something forward, I wasn’t working on the document, but if they tell me that it’s accurate, based on their accounting assessment of all of the materials. … These people had an incredible intimate knowledge, and I relied on it.”
Trump and Ivanks will take the stand next week.
Should make for an awkward holiday season and, if I may be so bold, I’ll say this… they deserve it.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Here’s the deal.
Get a good bread. A GOOD bread.
Argula, beets, and goat cheese. Salt and pepper. That’s the new grilled cheese and dang is it good.
But more than… well more than that? I don’t know, that’s pretty good. But still, more than good bread, because you are also a treat, I’m proud of you.