12/06/23
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, December 6th.
National Mitten Tree Day. Why? Well I’ll tell ya. Cause when you put the… put the mittens on the tree, and then that symbolizes… you know what? Not everything needs to mean something. Mitten Tree Day.
And now, the news.
Explosion in Virginia
-via AP News
We start in Arlington, Virginia, where 56-year-old James Yoo is believed to be dead after an explosion that was so big, it was felt for miles.
So let me back up. Earlier in the evening, police showed up to his house in response to reports of shots fired, after he fired what’s being described as a “flare-type gun” into his neighborhood from inside his house. Police were unable to communicate with him and got a search warrant.
Once police breached the door, Yoo fired multiple shots in the house, though it’s currently unclear where they were coming from or what was being shot it. And then soon after that is when the explosion happened.
It’s still early into the investigation, and again – a house literally blew up so it’s gonna take a minute, but Yoo had recently posted paranoid rants about his neighbors, who he believed were spies. He’d also filed four different suits between 2018 and 2002, including one against his now-ex-wife, younger sister, and a hospital, claiming he’d been committed against his will.
I say this a lot, but I’ll keep on saying it because it never becomes less true… we don’t do enough for mental health in this country.
Trump’s Civil Trial
-via AP News
And speaking of “we don’t do enough for mental health in this country” but in a way where I do mean it, I really really mean it, but it’s more… if this guy had just once, maybe even on accident, found his way into a therapists office, this world would be a completely different place:
Trump’s NY civil money crimes case is still up and running, and the defense is still going.
Nothing earthshattering came out this week but a Florida real estate attorney took the stand on Tuesday to say he’d estimate the historic value to be at $1 billion as of 2021. Though I don’t know how impartial he is, because he said “It’s something breathtaking. It’s something amazing to see,” and then shows a video complete with music, aerial shots of the property at sunrise and sunset, and then the whole thing closed out with an image of an American flag.
I don’t know if that video was shown before or after he, this is real, took a personal call from his dad on the stand.
Mom, Jim, don’t get any ideas…
No actually you know what – everyone, take note. Get ideas. Because if I’m ever taking the stand in defense of Donald Trump, something’s wrong. I’m not there willingly. Send help.
Veep Makes Tie-Breaking History
-via CNN
Kamala Harris set a record on Tuesday when she cast the 32nd tie-breaking vote in the Senate. As a reminder, the Veep votes in the Senate when there’s a tie.
The previous record was set in 1832! She also holds the record for most votes in a day – four on May 11th, 2022 – as well as most votes cast in her first year in office, with 15. Next one down on the list is Mike Pence – with just seven. Less than half.
So that’s how things are going in the Senate…
(These are not good records to be breaking.)
Tuberville Forced to Do the Right Thing
-via NY Times and Vanity Fair
Alabama’s Senator Tommy Tuberville finally lifted his block of almost all military promotions on Tuesday. How many? 440! Dude help up, for almost a year, the promotion of 440 service members because he, a man, doesn’t just agree with a Pentagon policy allowing service members to get abortion or fertility care. A policy, by the way, that these servicemembers didn’t put into place.
But don’t worry, I’m sure Tuberville’s concern over someone else’s bodily autonomy comes from his years and years of military background. Oh wait… he was a football coach before becoming a Senator in 2021.
And lest you think this bing bong understands that being a football coach and military servicemeber are different, as any rational human being would… last month when Marine Corps commandant General Eric Smith suffered an apparent heart attack, which Army veteran and Senate Armed Services Committee chair Jack Reed said he believed was in part due to Smith being overworked because of Tuberville’s blockade, this guy used his one wild and precious life to say this: “The Marine Corps commandant probably got 2,000 people working for him,” Tuberville said. “Jack Reed blamed me for his heart attack. Come on, give me a break. This guy is going to work 18-20 hours a day, no matter what. That’s what we do. I did that for years.”
Get. Therapy. If you don’t want an abortion, don’t get an abortion. And no matter what, and know that I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Sen. Tuberville can get all the way bent.
The 440 servicemembers he blocked were all confirmed on a voice vote in the Senate on Wednesday. He will continue to hold up most senior generals.
I truly cannot.
MTJ v SCOTUS
-via Axios
And whilst my blood pressure is already through the dang roof… Marjorie Taylor Green and two other binkuses (Thomas Massie and Ralph Norman) are asking the Supreme Court to toss out the fines they received when they refused to wear masks on the House floor during Covid.
Their “but I don’t wanna have consequences for actions” suit was, at first, a 27th amendment argument against then-Speaker Pelosi, and others. The 27th prevents congressional salary changes from going into effect until after the next election.
But, of course, fines aren’t a salary change. Ya dinkus.
The case was dismissed by the D.C. U.S. District Court who ruled that their little stunt violates the Constitution's Speech or Debate Clause, which protects lawmakers from lawsuits and questioning for things they say and do as part of their legislative work.
That dismissal was upheld by the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals.
So now they’re going all the way to the Supremes, arguing that Pelosi and others should not be granted speech or debate immunity.
What a waste of everyone’s time and money, also so three binkuses can raise money and get retweets on how anti-smart they are.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of mittens. It rhymes with kittens. I don’t really know why they need to go on a tree, but whatever.
But more than that, because you make sense… I’m proud of you.