04/17/23
Good morning! It’s Monday, April 17th.
National cheese ball day.
Don’t mind if I do…
And now, the news.
Shooting in Alabama
-via AP News
As we do here in America, let’s start in Alabama, where at least four people were killed and multiple people were injured at a 16-year-old’s birthday party. The numbers are still coming in, but it sounds like there may be at least 20 people injured.
This, in a town of 3,600.
This is breaking news, so it’s currently unclear what prompted the shooting and whether a suspect is in custody.
You know, I started this segment similarly to the way I do when I have to talk about these shootings. Because I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated and pissed off and, frankly, scared. As we all are, if we really thought about it. And I don’t want to be scared.
So I’m frustrated because it’s another shooting in America and what are we even doing?
But this is a town of 3,600. I don’t know if you’ve spent time in a town that small but if you haven’t, let me assure you that the people who aren’t directly or very closely affected by this shooting. They’ve got one high school. One. 490 students.
If you don’t live in this town, this is another shooting. If you do, this is the event that shapes your life. A 16-year-old’s birthday party.
How many of those kids go to school every day, worried their school with be the next headline?
And yes, I get frustrated because I feel like we’re not doing enough. But we can’t look at this and say “and we’ll never fix it,” even if we want to. Because in a town of 3,600, four people were just killed.
They deserved better. We deserve better.
We have to fix it, because the alternative is… well there is no alternative.
Abortion in America
-via CNN
On Friday, Justice Alito extended a hold on a lower court ruling to restrict the abortion pill Mifepristone. The order is stayed until 11:59p on Wednesday, and asked plaintiffs to respond before noon on Tuesday. Hey! That’s tomorrow!
Truly no way to know how this one’s gonna go.
They don’t like anyone with a uterus. We stay knowing that. But they also love drug companies, and this case opens the door to lower court judges overruling science and fact and overturning FDA decisions just because they feel like it.
And that’s not a judge’s job.
That’s a governor’s job, usually.
Anyway, who knows. The rights of everyone might just come down to what a nazi-souvenir collector feels in the moment.
For those that don’t know, that’s a reference to Justice Thomas’ friend Harlan Crow, who paid for all his vacations and we don’t really know what’s happening with that right now, but hopefully we’ll know soon. And something especially heinous about Crow is that he collects nazi memorabilia. Now, he says it’s because he hates fascism. My question is… how hard is it for you to remember that you hate nazis, that you have to collect things? I hate nazis all the time. It’s one of the easiest things I remember. And I have zero collectables. Because of how I hate them.
He also has a life-sized Hagrid’s Hut from Harry Potter, because you know… humans contain multitudes. And Crow’s multitudes are…. Either being an antisemite or the world’s more forgetful antifascist. And, he’s also a giant loser. A life-size Hagrid’s hut? NERD.
Abortion in Florida
So that’s abortion in America. Let’s check in with abortion in Florida. Spoiler alert: it’s gonna be worse. Governor Ron DeSantis signed the 6-week abortion ban that was sent his way.
Just after 11pm on Friday, because DeSantis is nothing if not feckless and a chicken. Say it with your chest, DeSantis. This law will not go into effect until the court issues a ruling in the 15-week ban, that is already being fought in the state. Because 15-weeks is terrible. So… 6-weeks is worse.
6-weeks is before most people even know they’re pregnant!
Here’s something, a new nationwide analysis shows that, once all the bans from state legislatures take effect, one-quarter of American women of reproductive age could have to travel more than 200 miles to obtain a legal abortion.
Also in Florida news, some parts of the state are experiencing historic levels of rain. Fort Lauderdale is literally underwater after getting 26 inches in 24 hours.
And where’s the big brave boy of a governor? On a book tour in Ohio.
Mayhaps he’s called? Let’s see what Fort Lauderdale’s mayor has to say: “Governor DeSantis has not yet called.”
Montana Bans TikTok
-via Buzzfeed News
This is one of those headlines that sounds bad, but actually nothing has happened yet. Here’s the headline: Montana lawmakers have voted to ban TikTok
So first of all, yes this happened.
But here’s what’s actually going on. As bills do, it now heads to the governor’s desk for signature. It’s unclear whether he will sign it. If it’s signed, it will likely then head to court. And then to court again. And then to court again.
Because best believe the fastest-growing social media app isn’t going to just be like, “eh. Ya win some, ya lose some.”
And then if, on top of all that, the app is still banned, the ban will not go into effect until January 1st.
So, in other words… you still have time to follow me.
France Raises Retirement Age
-via NPR
After months of protest against the move, France’s retirement age has officially been raised from 62 to 64. It will be implemented in September.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Something to look out for this week – the Dominion lawsuit starts today. So… should be fun to talk about. Remember, some of those text messages that have already come out from the Fox side are damning, sure, but also, more importantly… they are very embarrassing. And we love to see it.
I’m proud of… okay listen I’m not going to talk about it every single day, but the first two songs off Kelly Clarkson’s new album came out on Friday and they’re great! So we stay proud of Kelly Clarkson.
I’m also proud of cheese. So versatile! So good!
But more than that, more than a grilled goat cheese, beet, and arugula sandwich (I told you – cheese is versatile!)… I’m proud of you.