04/05/23
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, April 5th.
Bell Bottoms Day!
Finally!
And now, the news.
Trump Indictment
No time to talk about bell bottoms when we’ve got history to talk about! Although, I guess technically, bell bottoms are a part of history? Anyway, no time! Because right now we’ve got to cover…
TRUMP CRIME UPDATE TIME
(Arraignment edition)
Friends. It happened.
Also, friends. It was boring.
Of course it was boring! It’s money crimes! Money crimes is boring! But here’s the deal – he was charged with 34 count of money crimes, charging that he “repeatedly and fraudulently falsified New York business records to conceal criminal conduct that hid damaging information from the voting public during the 2016 presidential election.”
He pleaded not guilty to all charges.
You know what I hate? Well, I guess technically I hate all of it. But also, that it’s “pleaded” and not “pled.”
The charges are basically what we thought they’d be: Michael Cohen paid Stormy Daniels and co to stop talking about the affair. Trump agreed to pay Cohen a total of $420,000, at a rate of $35,000 a month, for the $130,000 that Cohen paid Daniels, $180,000 to cover taxes, and $80,000 to buy himself something nice. (Literally it was a bonus)
There were two surprising elements in the charges – first was that Karen McDougal, a former playboy model with whom Trump had an alleged 10-month affair. Trump denies it, but the Reader’s Digest version of that set of charges is that American Media Inc (aka AMI) did participate in Catch and Kill with them McDougal and that Cohen worked, at the direction of Trump, to pay to silence that story as well. They paid $150,000, which Trump directed Cohen to reimburse in cash before Cohen said it should come from a shell company.
The second surprising element was the former Trump tower doorman, who was paid $30,000 by AMI after claiming he had information about a kid that Trump had out of wedlock.
So those charges, as well as the previously predicted Stormy Daniels’ payment charges, make up the 34 charges that Trump pleaded (ugh) not guilty to. Paperwork will move forward, but Trump is not expected back in court, in person, until December 4th.
DA Alvin Bragg gave a few statements today, but here’s the best quote: “I don’t bring cases prior to a thorough and rigorous investigation. Now, having done so, the case has been brought.”
Chef’s kiss of a quote.
As I type this, Trump is moments away from giving a speech in Florida. A speech that will not be covered because we do not cover lies. And
And listen, we could go on and on about the beauty of this happening in New York, where he was the star of many things and also Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. But that’s for better journalists to pontificate about. Not I. Because, although I did have the promised full bottle of champagne, I have now returned to reality and will be a voice of reason. A voice to remind you that – yes. Yesterday was a BLAST. The rest of this will be boring.
Finland Joins NATO
-via NPR
Other things happened Tuesday! Big things! For example… Finland joined NATO. The country applied to join in May of 2022, just months after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. As a country that shares an 832-mile border Russia, this move is not only a safety net for the country, but a game changer in the war.
Wisconsin and Chicago Headed to the Polls
As mentioned in yesterday’s episode, Wisconsin headed to the polls yesterday. As did Los Angeles, as did Chicago.
All of those results will be announced tomorrow, but in Wisconsin, the liberal judge, Janet Protasiewics will win her seat. Flipping the court from conservative to liberal, saving abortion rights in the state and, likely, the first step in drawing fair maps in the state.
More results will come out tomorrow.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Ish.
So let me tell you what’s going on. If you’re looking at your feed (because you’re a champ and subscribed to this show), you’re seeing two episodes. That’s because there’s actually a special episode, also out now, about Tennessee.
What’s happening in Tennessee is vital… it’s also too long of a story to put in this episode So today’s a little shorter, so I can also put out a special episode about that. So go check that out as well.
But in the meantime… yeah, that’s the news. Turns out, when the former president is historically charged with money crimes, and also election day votes are still being counted… not much other news comes out.
I’m proud of… Bell Bottoms! Now that we’ve got the time to talk about them… they’re still not for me. But I’m proud of the work they did in their time.
But more than that… more than bell bottoms, if you can believe it… because YOU are, in fact, timeless… I’m proud of you.