05/16/23
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, May 16th.
National Mimosa Day! Finally – a real holiday!
The perfect mimosa recipe? Well I’m glad you asked because I consider myself something of a mimosa connoisseur…
97% champagne, 3% orange juice.
And now, the news.
Shooting in New Mexico
-via CNN
We start how we start in America, with three dead and more injured, including two officers, after an 18 year old opened fire in a neighborhood in Farmington, New Mexico.
It’s unclear, at this time, whether the shooter entered any homes in the neighborhood, or even what he was doing in the neighborhood.
The officers are in stable condition, but so far very little information has come out about this. The shooter is dead as well.
Yep, We’re Still Talking 2016 Russia
-via AP News
The four-year investigation into the FBI’s investigation (yes, an investigation into an investigation) of the Trump and Russia 2016 romance. And although Trump has spent the last four years saying this was the crime of the century and the findings of this investigation would rock your world… the actual report is like – eh.
Now, yes the Trump appointed special counsel, John Durham, did conclude that the FBI shouldn’t have launched an investigation into the Trump/Russia connection, but he also didn’t recommend any charges or changes about the way the FBI handles politically-motivated investigations.
So, in theory, four years later, it ends with a whimper. Well, a whimper with a megaphone because you better believe Jim Jordan would like to have Durham testify next week.
Because Jim Jordan is nothing if not the worst.
DeSantis Finds Yet Another New Low
-via Washington Post
I said it yesterday, and I’ll say it again. Every time we think Ron DeSantis has hit a new now, he finds a new shovel.
On Monday, the Florida governor signed a bill to defund higher education diversity in public colleges, as well as limit how race can be discussed in most courses.
This is truly disgusting. And don’t be fooled, this isn’t one of those things where you have to read between the lines to find the white supremacy. This is a loud and clear continued nationalist march into fascism that Ron DeSantis is more than happy to be the face of.
Here’s a quote. For context, DEI stands for diversity, equity, and inclusion.
“And that has no place in our public institutions. This bill says the whole experiment with DEI is coming to an end in the state of Florida.”
The bill prohibits public colleges from spending state or federal money on DEI efforts, including increasing student and faculty diversity, unless they are federally required to do so. This includes diversity of race and ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion and socioeconomic status.
The new law also forbids public colleges from offering GE courses — which are actually required for all college students — that “distort significant historical events,” teach “identity politics,” or are “based on theories that systemic racism, sexism, oppression, or privilege are inherent in the institutions of the United States and were created to maintain social, political, or economic inequities.”
Terrifying.
House Rep’s Staff Attacked
-via CBS News
Two members of US House Rep Gerry Connolly’s staff were attacked on Monday morning by a man wielding a metal baseball bat. The 49 year old suspect has been apprehended. He apparently asked for Congressmember before attacking the staff, including hitting a senior aide in the head and intern on the side. He also damaged computers.
The Congressman was at a ribbon-cutting at the time of the event.
A motive is still unknown, though someone with the suspect’s same name did file a handwritten, and nonsensical, suit against the CIA in 2022 that alleged wrongfully imprisoned by the CIA, which included torture, from 1988 until “present from the fourth dimension.” So…
Local police and Capitol police are still investigating.
New Giuliani Lawsuit
-via Daily Beast
A new lawsuit against Rudy Giuliani is, uh… a lot.
At it’s core, it is a 70-page sexual harassment claim from a woman Giuliani hired in 2019, didn’t pay her what he promised, and then fired her in 2021.
In between being hired and fired, the suit alleges Giuliani forced the plaintiff to perform sexual acts for him, including while he was on the phone with people he considered important, including Donald Trump, because, brace yourself, it made him feel like Bill Clinton. He also forced her to work out of his apartment, working naked, in a bikini, or short shorts with an American flag on them.
She also alleges he was rarely sober, and often used racist and antisemitic slurs and rhetoric.
So that’s the basis of the suit and it’s disgusting.
It’s also got a potentially huge bombshell in it – because it also claims, first that as far back as February 2019, Giuliani told her the plan, if Trump lost, was to claim voter fraud, and that this plan was the subject of several business meetings between Giuliani and Lev Parnas.
It also claims that Giuliani told the plaintiff that he was able to break the laws because he had immunity. And if she knew anyone in need of a pardon, he was selling them for $2 million. A fee that he would split with Trump. And he was so serious, he added that she should bring potential pardons to him directly and not go through the Office of the Pardon Attorney because that correspondence could be FIA’d.
This news broke Monday and it is a LOT. So expect this to be… it’s gonna be like one of those toys we had when we were kids. Where you put it in the water and it expands to like 12 times its size. You know what I’m talking about? The little sponge thing? Sometimes they were dinosaurs.
Eh, whatever. The point is… this is a big story that will only get bigger. Poor Coach Beard… dude’s probably so sleepy. This isn’t gonna help at all.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Big news day!
I’m proud of… man. Not Ron DeSantis or Rudy Giuliani. Both are terrible.
Proud of mimosas though! Also, how good is orange juice? Orange juice with ice? Yes please! Champagne with a single drop of orange juice? Yes please!
But more than that… because you are also a “yes please!”… I’m proud of you!