05/26/23
Good morning! It’s Friday, May 26th.
National Paper Airplane Day!
I… have nothing to say about this. I’m made paper airplanes, but I’ve never made a good one. I have no real opinion on this.
And now, the news.
White Gladis Strikes Again!
-via Reuters
White Gladis has struck again!
Orcas on the coast of Southern Spain broke the rudder of a sailboat on Thursday. There have been at least 20 interactions this month alone. Last year, there were 207.
Why do I feel like were moments away from the GOP regulating orcas because they’re worried about boat safety?
White House Fighting Antisemitism
-via NPR
The White House has released the first national strategy for fighting the growing antisemitism seen around the country. It includes more than 100 steps that federal agencies have to commit to finishing within the year, and more than 100 calls to actions aimed at Congress, civil society, state and local governments, as well as academic institutions, businesses and religious communities.
The strategy in built on on raising awareness, improving security, reversing normalization and building solidarity.
At the announcement of the plan, Biden said: “The venom and violence of antisemitism will not be the story of our time."
11-Year-Old Shot by Police
-via BBC
The 11-year-old who was shot by police after HE called for help, has been released from the hospital.
He was sent with a collapsed lung, among other injuries, after he was shot in the chest. By the police. Which HE called, asking for THEIR help.
The officer had his gun drawn at the door, then when he asked everyone to exit, the 11-year-old turned the corner and the officer opened fire.
As his mom covered his wound with her hand, he asked her: “Why did he shoot me? What did I do?”
The officer has been placed on leave as the investigation continues, but the department has not confirmed whether he’ll be paid or not.
Texas AG Drama
-via NY Times
A Republican-led committee in the Texas state House has recommended that the state’s ag, Ken Paxton, also a Republican, be impeached for a uh… well, a buncha stuff.
Including allegations that he used his office to help an Austin real estate developer and donor, who oh, hey!, also hired a woman with whom Mr. Paxton was having a relationship. He also created what was described as a “climate of fear.”
The investigation began in March after he settled a suit from one of his aides for $3.3 million. The aide was accusing him of corruption and retaliation. And, to pay the $3.3 million settlement for corruption… he asked the Texas Leg to handle it. And when the Texas House was like – I don’t know, Kenny. This doesn’t feel like something we should be paying for… they then decided, but hey! Since you’ve brought up this corruption and retaliation case… maybe we should look into it!
And so they did. And turns out… surprisingly, they don’t like what they learned.
Texas Republicans like their corruption and retaliation to be more nuanced, ya know?
Oh! Fun fact… This is separate from the other investigation Paxton is under, which is for securities fraud.
Thursday’s vote means this now heads to the Senate for a vote on whether he should be removed from office. Because as we remember from the TWO TIMES WE DID THIS FOR TRUMP… The House decides whether he’ll be impeached, the Senate decides if he’ll be kicked out of office. That’s the same federally or for states.
But it’s likely some Texans electeds had to refresh themselves on how it all works… Texas has only impeached a governor in 1917 and a district judge in the 70s. And that’s… it.
And that’s what’s going on in Texas.
Oath Keepers Founded Sentenced to 18 Years
-via AP News
In keeping with the trend of… seditionists should be treated as such and go to jail… Stewart Rhodes, the founder of the Oath Keepers, was found guilty of sedition on Thursday and will spend 18 years in prison.
He is not the first to be found guilty of sedition, but he is the first of the Jan 6th insurrectionists to be sentenced. 18 years! And, also great, this is the longest sentence handed down so far. It’s that long because the judged agreed with the Department of Justice that his actions should be punished as terrorism.
Before sentencing, the judge summed up exactly why these sedition charges matter. Saying, Americans will “now hold our collective breaths every time an election is approaching.”
Trump Crime Update Time
-via Washington Post
And hey, on Friday, let’s end with a fun little thing we do here called…
Trump Crime Update Time!
In a Washington Post exclusive, two people familiar with the case of the time Trump called dibs on a bunch of confidential paperwork because he is bad and should have never been president and absolutely should not ever be president again, mostly because he should be convicted on sedition for the other case he did, but also because I just don’t like people who are have bad in their soul…
Anyway, two people familiar with the confidential papers crime say that two of Trump’s employees moved the boxes of papers the day before the FBI agents attempted to retrieve them. The timing, of which, has investigators doing the monocle emoji because huh. That sure is some interesting timing…
Also, apparently Trump and aides carried out a “dress rehearsal” for moving the papers before the subpoena came down. Which means they knew they shouldn’t have had them. But also… for some reason the idea of them doing a dress rehearsal is so funny to me. I hope they called it that.
Poor Coach Beard. He’s got an election stealing insurrection crimes case, a paper stealing crimes case, and a series finale next week!
Dude’s so busy!
And that’s it! That’s the news!
I’m proud of Coach Beard. He works so hard.
Also, I don’t know anything about it but I just watched a trailer for a movie called Paper Planes from 2015 and it looks so sweet!
But more than that… more than the episode of the Office where they do the paper plane competition and Dwight tries to help Angela win and then she realizes it and lets him win… because you are also a well-rounded character who really, in the end, IS the love story of the whole show… I’m proud of you!