05/03/23

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, May 3rd. National Lumpy Rug Day.

Hey, do ya like rugs? Okay well now we’re gonna make them bad and then we’re gonna celebrate it. No. Absolutely not. Unsubscribe.

The word lumpy IS objectively funny though.

And now, the news.

Democrats Will Try to Force Debt Limit Increase

-via NY Times

Let’s start with the economy. Again. Because, as I said… I am super, super comfortable talking about it, as I for sure know a lot about it.

Good news though – Democrats have a secret plan to fight inflation.

Actually, that’s not true. That’s a West Wing reference. They are, however, working on a plan to force the debt limit increase. The plan has actually, quietly, been in the works for month and, while not a guarantee, is a discharge petition that would force a debt-limit increase bill to the floor. Not a guarantee because it would require that some Republicans, use their noggins and sign off on it. However, with a tight margin between the two parties, it’s possible they could pull some more moderate Republicans over?

Who knows if it’ll work, but the biggest thing here is that Democrats are doing everything they can, even though the onus is on the Republicans, as the majority in the House, to not drive this country into default.

So… that’s where we’re at. We’ll see how next week’s meetings between Biden and McCarthy go.

Biden Sends Troops to Mexican Border

-via CNN

The Biden administration announced on Tuesday that it plans to send 1,500 troops to the US-Mexico border, in anticipation of an influx of migrants next week, after the Title 42 public health authority expires.

The additional troops will be there for 90 days to fill gaps in detection, monitoring, and even data entry. They will not be doing law enforcement work.

Title 42 was evoked due to Covid, and will expire on May 11th.

Hey! That’s my cousin Dan’s birthday!

…just a coincidence, I’m sure.

Rep. Zephyr Barred from Returning to Statehouse

-via AP News

Montana House Rep Zooey Zephyr, who used her 1st Amendment right to speak up in service of the constituents that voted her into office, cannot return to the statehouse floor and participate in debate.

Two weeks ago, Zephyr, who is herself transgender, spoke out against gender-affirming care opposition. She also encouraged protest. You, of course, know protest as… the thing that is also protected in the Constitution. It falls under the whole “Congress make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting its free exercise. It protects freedom of speech, the press, assembly, and the right to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

But because she was speaking up against the majority… she was silenced and, last week, banished from the state House.

She’s rightfully suing, but on Tuesday the judge in her case ruled that it was outside of his authority to overrule the Legislature.

So that’s… where we’re currently at with democracy.

Writers Strike

-via Hollywood Reporter

By the time you’re hearing this, Colbert will have been a repeat and the first picket lines will have already been picketed. Because the writers are officially on strike.

It’s the first writers strike in 15 years. Talks broke down over minimum writing staff sizes and minimum amount of time for employment. Also, probably, over the fact that AMPTP is bad and takes advantage of workers.

For none-industry listeners… sounds like late-night shows will run reruns this week, but you may remember the 2007 100-day strike, where they came back but without writers after 2 months…

Conan grew a beard and spun his ring around for a while. Aaaaaand… other stuff probably, but that’s the thing I remember the most.

If the late-night shows are reruns this week, the first signs of the strike will come this Saturday, for SNL. The strike started on Tuesday – that show’s not even CLOSE to written yet! It’s gonna be a mess.

Pay writers. Respect unions.

#Solidarity.

Bodies Found in Oklahoma

-via CNN

So, these last two stories here deal with sexual assault. If that’s not something you want to hear, I specifically put them at the end so you could turn this episode off and know that I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself.

First, in Oklahoma, where seven bodies, including what are believed to be two missing teenage girls, were found on Monday. They were found at the home of 39-year-old Jesse McFadden, who was also found dead and is one of the bodies in the count of seven.

The missing teenage girls were 14 and 16. A medical examiner will provide final confirmation.

The bodies were found after McFadden, due in court on charges of soliciting a minor in 2017, while serving time for a 2003 rape conviction (because this was evil personified), failed to show up to court. Authorities found the bodies while serving his bench warrant.

Trump Rape Trial

-via AP News

Trump’s civil rape trial continues in New York and, on Tuesday, a woman testified that Trump molested her on a flight in the 70s. The woman told jurors that Trump assaulted her out of the blue, without speaking to her at all. Luckily, she was able to get away from him and went to the back of the plane.

The testimony was an attempt at showing Trump’s history of assault.

Trump has decided he will not testify. Gee, I wonder why. He has, however, given sworn testimony, excerpts of which could be played for the jury.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of… lumpy rugs? No, wait. No, absolutely not. And here’s why. Here’s where I have to own my truth… for the last two weeks, up until the weekend, my rug was lumpy. It had a lump. And I HATED it. And I worked very hard to fix it and honestly not enough people are congratulating me on that.

So yeah, I know it’s not saying much but I hope you know I really mean it from the bottom of my heart… more than my lumpy rug…. I’m proud of you.