06/23/23

Good morning! It’s Friday, June 23rd.

National Porridge Day. Can you even? How Bri’ish! Oooh porridge.

And now, the news.

One Final Titan Update

-via AP News

Okay, let’s start as we have this week – with one, unfortunately, final update on the search for Titan. After a week of searching, the US Coast Guard has officially announced that the pieces of debris found near Titanic were from the Titan, which imploded and killed all five people on board.

The Navy actually detected the implosion on Sunday, but… I mean… I don’t work for the Navy, they kept looking.

Of course now the question is… if the submersible imploded on Sunday… what were the banging noises that detected on Tuesday?

When asked for a comment, the orcas said: “oh, I don’t know. Not us though. The ocean is very safe! Come on in! The water’s fine!”

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to joke… orcas are very safe for humans. Just not rudders.

Greg Abbott Vetoes Pro-Voter Bill

-via Texas Tribune (1984 accident story also by Texas Tribune, fraud by voter facts from the Brennan Center)

Texas Gov Greg Abbott… let me tell you a story about Greg Abbott. In 1984, whilst out on a job, a tree fell on him and paralyzed him. Horrific. Very sad. He was young, didn’t have a lot of money, and definitely no health insurance – so he sued the homeowners as well as the company that had maintained and inspected the tree. Fair. We’re talking a lot of medical expenses and lifelong injury.

But to this day, almost 40 years later, he receives monthly payments because the suit specifically noted that there were “noneconomic losses for pain and  suffering and mental anguish.”

We’re talking about millions of dollars that he’s received from this suit.

So that’s 1984. Then from 1996 to 2001, while Abbott served on the Texas Supreme Court, the Court started adopting tighter standards for exactly what Abbott sued for. And in 2003, with Abbott’s support, the state’s legislature capped the noneconomic damages in medical malpractice cases at $250,000.

Abbott was in a freak accident, sued, continues to get paid, and then worked to make sure no one would be able to do the same. And I think of that story often, because it feels like the clearest possible explanation for exactly who he is. Greg Abbott will always, always always always, look out for himself and that’s it. If you think he cares about Texas – oh pal. He does not.

And I tell you that story, so that you can know how remarkably unsurprised I was by the headline I read this morning: “Gov. Greg Abbott vetoes bill that would give people with disabilities new option to vote by mail.”

It was a bipartisan bill that allowed voters who need help casting a ballot, such as those who are visually impaired or… wait for it… are paralyzed, to be afforded both the privacy and security of an electronic ballot. They’d be able to use a computer to mark their choices before printing out, signing and returning their ballots by mail.

As a reminder, fraud by voters occurs at a rate between .0003 and .0025%, which no change in the rate between in person and by mail voting.

Greg Abbott is not here to protect voters. Because if he were, he would not have vetoed this.

He just… doesn’t care about Texas.

Greg Abbott… terrible for Texas, since… well I guess you’d have to say the whole time.

GOP In-Fighting

-via Roll Call

Okay, here’s a story that should be embarrassing for all involved and yet – they will not be.

Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene… darlings of Q-Anon and overall just embarrassing humans that are actually, like for real, elected members of Congress are fighting.

Why? Because they both want to impeach Biden. And they have competing resolutions to do so. Apparently Greene asked Boebert to co-sponsor her articles of impeachment, but instead Boebert just copied them.

There was name calling, naturally. But I think the funniest part of their fight is reports that Boebert said, “OK Marjorie we’re through.” And then to her back, Greene said, “we were never together.”

Got em!

So embarrassing.

I mean, way less embarrassing than the fact that they’re going to try and impeach Biden for… I guess not enforcing immigration laws?

This is absolutely bonkers and you know… we’ll see. We’ll see how far the circus takes this one. But in the meantime, I am begging you with every fiber of my being… please please please understand how wildly vital your vote is. Because when I tell you that democracy hangs in the balance…

It’s Chemistry Time

-via Kelly Clarkson

And let’s end of a high note. Because so far it’s just been like… hey, bad news about the Titan. Hey, bad news about voting. Hey, bad news about um… you know… democracy.

So like I said, let’s end on a high note. And when I say high note I mean…

Kelly Clarkson’s 10th studio album, Chemistry, is out in the world right this very second! Streaming right now! You would think I would be getting a cut of every time someone steams this album, based on how much I’ve talked about it. But you know what? This show is free, so I get to talk about whatever my little heart desires. And so there we go.

Some things in the news are bad, some things in the news are good, most things are a combination, but this… net positive. Very excellent. Haven’t even heard the whole thing yet. I just know about things. Like in my heart, ya know?

And that’s it. That’s the news!

Hey, keep an eye on the feed for a special episode that might pop up there this weekend. Mayhaps on Sunday.

I’m proud of… I mean I just did a whole story about it and like, there’s a line where you can only talk about someone you know don’t know at all for so long before people are like -hey, chill out. So just… you know… we stay proud of Kelly Clarkson.

But I’m also proud of porridge. It’s Bri’ish!

But more than that… more than how much I love (LOVE) saying “Bri’ish”… because you put up with it – I’m proud of you.