06/28/23
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, June 28th.
National Tapioca Day. People don’t love tapioca, but you know what? Those people are wrong. Or they’ve just never had really good tapioca pudding. Or they have and they still don’t like it. I guess I don’t want to judge someone based only on tapioca.
But I will! Tapioca is great, I’ll be taking no further questions.
And now, the news.
Canadian Wildfires
-via AP News
Oh Canada. The wildfires are back and so, unfortunately, is the smoke and terrible air quality. This time, however, the worst air quality in the country hit Chicago, Detroit, and Milwaukee.
The Canadian Interagency Forest Fire Centre reports that, since the beginning of the year, almost 30,000 square miles of land has burned across Canada. Or, for my Canadian Uncle Stef – just over 76,000 square kilometers.
The previous record was set in 1989 at just over 29,000 square miles (aka just about 75,500 square kilometers).
Julian Sands
-via CNN
We’ve got a sad ending to the search for British actor Julian Sands, who went missing after a hike in the San Gabriel mountains in January. A body found in the area has been identified as the missing actor. The manner of death is still under investigation.
DeSantis Loses Again
-via NPR
In yet another loss for DeSantis, which is great because he’s terrible and also not a surprise because who has time to actually read the laws when you’re just out here trying to bring as much bad into the world as possible…
A federal judge has temporarily blocked a new Florida law intending to prohibit minors from attending drag shows. The order came down after Hamburger Mary’s, a restaurant that hosts drag shows, sued the state and Ronny Sands for a first amendment violation.
The governor’s office will appeal.
I look forward to reporting that he’s lost.
1A dude… it’s not that hard of an amendment to understand.
Ryan Seacrest to Host Wheel of Fortune
-via Hollywood Reporter
Ryan Seacrest has been named as the replacement for Pat Sajak on Wheel of Fortune, beginning with the 2024-2025 season.
It’s not that nobody wants to work anymore, it’s just that Ryan Seacrest has all the jobs.
Wanna hear something bonkers? In the 2022-2023 season, Wheel of Future averaged 9 million viewers. Incredible!
Missing Covid Funds
-via NPR
According to the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) Office of Inspector General, which has a fun acronym of SBA OIG (sbaoig!), at least $200 billion, or about 17% of the $1.2 trillion that was dispersed to small businesses during the pandemic may have gone to scammers.
The key word here is MAY, as there is still more work to be done.
But it’s important to make sure this doesn’t get twisted – 90% of the fraud was done in the first nine months of the pandemic. So, while Trump was at the helm. The Biden Administration has since implemented more real-time anti-fraud checks.
Trump Crime Update Time
-via CNN & Miami Herald (Illegal Dibs Calling Crimes), and CNN (Election Stealing Crimes)
And now the story that I have been just… chomping at the bit to tell you about.
Trump Crime Update Time!
CNN has obtained exclusive audio from a 2021 conversation where Trump did what we already knew… remember when Trump was full on arrested for illegal dib calling crimes and part of what we learned is that he literally showed a reporter top secret paperwork and said that, as president, he could be declassified it. But he didn’t. But it’s still a secret. And then said, “isn’t that interesting.”
So we’ve been knowing BUT CNN released the exclusive audio. Which is great.
But here’s what made me honestly just… cackle every time I came across the audio. Because there’s a part of the audio that serves no purpose, and CNN did not need to include it, but they did. And it’s great.
Because at the end of Trump saying, “hey! I did crimes! Doing a crime right now, in fact! Doing a crime while telling you about a crime!” He literally says, “Hey, bring some, uh, bring some Cokes in please.”
And I don’t know why, but that makes me laugh every time.
Because they didn’t need to include it!
And listen, I’m not a big CNN fan but… I am a fan of comedy!
So good.
Also in illegal dibs calling crimes… Walt Nauta, Trump’s aide who is named in the case as well… was unable to appear in court on Tuesday because uh… well, looks like he’s havin’ a little trouble finding himself a lawyer. Probably because lawyers like to win cases. And also get paid. And it’s fair to assume that, in any business dealings where Trump is involved, neither of those are likely to happen.
And then in different Trump Crime Update Time…
Just as I was wrapping up this episode for the day. Hey! Another CNN exclusive… Former Trump attorney and America’s Mayor, Rudy Guiliani has been interviewed by Coach Beard, to talk about the time that a bunch of people totally didn’t vote for Trump, as is their right, but then they just decided to go ahead and fake it till you coup it and steal the election.
No charges have been announced in the Election Stealing Crimes Case, but while the meeting took place in recent weeks, this is the first time it’s being reported.
When we know more…
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of… tapioca. It’s delicious! I regret nothing.
But more than that. More than tapioca pudding. And you know what, even more than rice pudding, another favorite, because you are even more of a favorite than those things… I’m proud of you.