07/05/23

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, July 5th.

National apple turnover day.

Now this I can get behind! I know the country’s split on baked fruits (and that’s it! That’s the only thing we’re divided on) but let me tell you something… you put apple in the oven with some sugar and butter and I. Am. In.

Oh! Ooh what about an apple hand pie from McDonalds? No one is better than an apple hand pie from McDonalds.

And now, the news.

Mass Shootings in Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Fort Worth

-via AP News (Philadelphia), AP News (Baltimore), NY Times (Fort Worth), and CNN

We start how we start here in America, with multiple mass shootings to report on.

First in Philadelphia, where five people are dead and at least two people were injured, after a 40-year-old killed one person in a house and four others on the street before surrendering to police.

The shooter appears to have had no connection to the victims.

Then, about 90 miles away, two people were killed and at least 28 others were injured, when at least one person opened fire at a holiday house party. Not much more than that is known at this time, including how many people were shooting. No arrests have been made as of this recording, so here’s hoping that changes by the time you hear this.

And in Fort Worth, three people were killed and eight people were injured after what’s described as “several men” opened fire into a crowd. No arrests have been made here either. Horrifically, because there were also fireworks going off at the same time, the crowd was even more confused that if it were just, you know, a classic American shooting.

And to be clear, I’m not being glib. This is awful. I hate reporting on these because we’re talking about a preventable, and uniquely American problem. It’s something that the news will cover once and then be done, probably off to cover a different shooting, while the survivors and their friends and family will feel the ramifications of this forever.

It’s horrific.

But when I say it’s uniquely American, that’s not just like… my saying it. In fact, we have so many mass shootings, that people are able to accurately track when they are most likely to happen. Let’s not prevent it! But let’s just like… know when they happen.

(That’s not super fair, as the tracking is through the Gun Violence Archive and the guns are from… you know… America and the government not stopping them from being so readily available. But hey! What even is fair anymore!)

Anyway, in at least five or the last ten years, July 4th or 5th ranked #1 for the number of mass shootings in a single day. Which… I guess if you’re going to have such a uniquely American thing, have it happen most often on a uniquely American holiday.

Awful.

Federal Judge Limits Biden Administration Social Media Communication

-via NY Times

On Tuesday, a federal judge ruled in favor of limiting the Biden administration from communicating with social media platforms. What does this mean? Well, I’ll tell ya – the judge ruled that parts of the government, including the Department of Health and Human Services as well as the Federal Bureau of Investigation, could not talk to social media companies for “the purpose of urging, encouraging, pressuring, or inducing in any manner the removal, deletion, suppression, or reduction of content containing protected free speech.”

In other words… hey! Don’t do anything silly like, for example, encouraging people to get a safe, and free, vaccine in the middle of a once in a century pandemic that has shut the world down.

So… yeah… this’ll get appealed.

Update on the Parisian Riots

-via The Guardian

Riots in Paris continued over the weekend, with children as young as 12 and 13 detained for, according to the police attacking law enforcement and setting fires. In total, at least 3,300 people have been arrested since the riots began. 99 town halls have been attacked and, are you ready for this, a fundraiser has been created… for the COP THAT SHOT the 17 year old, which the riots are in reaction to. And it’s already raised more than €1 million. Can you even? This would be like if someone raised $1M for Derek Chauvin, after he killed George Floyd, while people were protesting! Which… honestly… I’m shocked it didn’t happen.

The riots continue as of this recording.

Just a Little Bit of Coke at the White House…

-via CBS News

And finally… you know how sometimes you like – you’re ordering a bunch of stuff on Amazon for work, and then when you finally have a chance to order yourself a little something, you accidentally use your word address instead of your home address?

The White House was shut down, briefly, on Sunday when a white powdering substance was discovered in a common area of the West Wing. It was tested and found to be… just a little bit of cocaine.

Not great! But you know… we don’t know whose it is. We don’t know what they were doing with it. Obviously people that don’t like the Biden administration are being super super normal about this and totally not making jokes about Biden’s son, an admitted addict who is trying to keep clean.

No no, I’m just kidding. Everyone’s terrible (some of the jokes are funny, but still).

Anyway, just a liiiiiiittle bit’a coke was found at the West Wing. Biden was not at the White House when it was discovered, so… probably wasn’t his.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of any sort of baked apple. Apple pies. Apple turnovers. French apple cakes. I think… I think maybe I’m just hungry.

But more than that… more than a PERFECT apple crisp with vanilla ice cream… because you are also no notes perfect – I’m proud of you.