08/28/23

Good morning! It’s Monday, August 28th.

Crackers over the keyboard day.

I do not approve.

This is literally a day for eating a cracker, a crumbly food, over a keyboard. Absolutely not. I used to have to each my lunch over my keyboard while I worked, and the keyboard gets so messy. And that was just… on accident. A whole day to specifically do this? No, do not do this.

And now, the news.

Mass Shootings in America

-via LA Times (Orange County shooting), CNN (Boston shooting), and AP News (Jacksonville shooting)

We start how we start here in America – with the news of two mass shootings over the weekend.

First, in Orange County, CA. Home of Disneyland (and therefore your friendly neighborhood Kim, most weekends), where three people are dead and six others were injured after a gunman, a retired police officer, went to a bar specifically to kill his estranged wife (who was one of the injured, but not killed). According to the Orange County Sheriff’s office, he shot his estranged wife first before shooting randomly in the bar.

The shooter has been arrested. The guns… were purchased legally.

In Boston, at least seven people were injured after a shooting during a parade that’s a part of the Caribbean Carnival. Here it appears that the shooting happened after two groups got into some type of fight. No arrests have been made.

And in Jacksonville, FL, it’s “we start how we start” and also “a 404-year-old story of America” crossover, as, on Saturday, three Black Americans were killed in a Dollar General by a 21-year-old white male, a shooting that police are describing as racially motivated.

It happened specifically in New Town, Florida, which is a predominately Black neighborhood of Jacksonville. The store is near Edward Waters University, an HBCU named for the third bishop of the AME church, the members of which founded the university in the late 1800s.

Chillingly, the shooter was seen on the campus but after he refused to identify himself, he was asked to leave. At that point, he was seen pulling on a bullet-resistant vest and mask before driving away. However, the Jacksonville Sheriff said on Sunday that it didn’t appear he intended to attack the school. Still though…

The shooter, Ryan Palmenter, shot himself at the scene. During the shooting, he texted his dad to check his computer. There, his dad found a suicide note, a will, and racist writings from him.

He was involved in a 2016 domestic institute that didn’t lead to an arrest, and in 2017 was involuntarily committed for a 72-hour mental health examination.

His guns… were purchased legally.

Spanish Soccer Federation

-via The Athletic and NPR

Last week, while I was taking five full business days to recover from the Kelly Clarkson concert, Spain won the World Cup.

Even if you weren’t paying attention to the World Cup (a vibe I do NOT understand), you need to know about this story. So the first thing to know is that, last September, 15 players emails the Spanish federation, asking not to be called up to national team, saying the team’s coach was emotionally abuse and it was having an effect on their physical and emotional health. They didn’t ask for the coach, Jorge Vilda, to be fired. But said they didn’t want to play for him in the World Cup.

Instead of taking this request seriously, the federation back Vilda. The head of women’s soccer at the federation, Ana Alvarez, said the woman needed to apologize before they would be welcomed back on the team because the federsation comes first.

In addition to those 15 players, three other women didn’t send in an email but supported the 15. All 18 missed some friendlies in fall of 2022, but after a while those three returned to the national team.

Feeling optimistic about the progress, because the players were PROMISED that things were better, eight of the 15 made themselves available for World Cup selection, with three making the cut but then saying that the chan

So for the World Cup, Vilda was the villain. He was booed twice by the 75,000 plus fans in Australia, and players even celebrated their first ever World Cup win without Vilda.

Hard to believe that, after all that, Vilda would be the 2nd worst villain in this story.

Enter the Spanish Football Federation president Luis Rubilaes who, after the World Cuppa win, forcibly kissed Jenni Hermosa, one of the women who supported the email to the federation but didn’t send an email, on national television. On the lips.

Hermosa did not consent to the kiss, saying, “I felt vulnerable and a victim of an impulse-driven, sexist, out of place act without any consent on my part.”

Are you mad? Great, be prepared to be more mad… because the federation put out a statement on Hermosa’s behalf, calling it a “mutual gesture.”

More mad? Buckle up… because the Royal Spanish Football Federation is standing by Rubiales and… threatening legal action against Hermoso and others.

Meanwhile, FIFA has suspended Rubiales. Which… I won’t go into it too far because these episodes aren’t supposed to be this long but… anyone looking to FIFA to be the first to the right thing, will often be disappointed. So the fact that FIFA is the only entity doing the right thing is wild.

This means that Rubiales IS suspended, but like I said – the Spanish federation is still standing by him.

All of this is awful. What’s also awful, but low on the list, is that the Spanish National Women’s Football team did something incredible and brought the win home for their country, for the first time. And it’s marred by this.

Trump Crime Update Time

-via The Atlantic

The first GOP debate happened last week. Nothing more to say about that. The only things to know are – it happened and, when asked if they would all support Trump for president, even if he’s felt guilt.

And speaking of his guilt…

Trump Crime Update Time

(Prison bookings and drivers licenses are different, edition)

All 19 defendants turned themselves in by the Friday deadline in Georgia’s RICO case, aka the time that Trump was like – Georgia, be a peach and overturn these election results.

Unfortunately, Canary Watch 2023 has yet to see anyone taking the deal but as a reminder – I got a fun little bit for when that happens.

Marky Meads tried to move his case to a federal court, his reason being “hey, I didn’t just do this crime to Georgia. I did it for the whole country!” The hearing for that will being today.

Which makes me think Marky Meads will be the first canary to sing.

Everyone was released on bond, including Trump who was released on a $200,000 bond, which he went to a bail bonds company for. So that’s… something interesting.

Something else interesting?

His booking. Apparently, he got to decide on his own, with his own imagination, his defining characteristics, looks-wise. Because on his actual, legal, booking paperwork is says his hair color is… “blond or strawberry” (direct quote) and height and weight? Well I’m glad you asked… 6’3” and 215.

The same height and weight as NBC player Eric Gordon. Muhammad Ali, when found Joe Frazier. Chris Hemsworth! You know… Thor. You know how people are always like – is that Thor, or is that Donald Trump. It’s hard to tell. And by the way, I’m talking fit Thor. Not that little bit where he had a beer belly. Fit Thor and Donald Trump… same same.

And that’s… something that will be a part of public record forever.

And that’s it. That’s the news!

I’m proud of… the Spanish Women’s World Cup players. The players. The federation and coach are horrible people who do not deserve to have careers ever again. The players deserve a lot… but they sure don’t deserve this.

I remain proud of the US Women’s National Team.

I’m proud of Kelly Clarkson. I took a full week off to recover from the concert and you know what.. it wasn’t enough. But I really just… I know I say it as a joke but I really mean it. I’m really proud of her.

But more than… eating crackers over a keyboard… because you make good choices… I’m proud of you.