02/05/24
Good morning! It’s Monday, February 5th.
It is both National Weatherperson’s Day and National Disaster Day. And mayhaps never before have two random holidays worked in conjunction so well, as they do today.
And now, the news.
Southern California Weather
-via CNN
When we’re starting with weather and traffic on the tens and twos, that’s how you know it’s a for real story.
As of this recording, more than 170,000 customers are without power in Southern California, as a powerful storm coming in through something called the Pineapple Express, (yes, that’s the real name), makes its way through the area.
Expect that number to go up because just a few hours ago, the number of customers without power was 60,000 and the winds aren’t even as high as they’re expected to go.
Los Angeles is right in the middle of all of this and as I’m recording this, it’s barely sprinkling. But this storm is expected to bring heavy rains, flooding, and significant winds. It’s also expect to last into Tuesday. So if you’re in the area… well I guess if you’re in the area, you already know about it. Feels like it can’t possibly be that the first time you learn about this storm is through this podcast. But still… be safe. Listen to flood watches and warnings.
Stay warm. Stay snuggled. Stay safe.
South Carolina Primary Results
The first official democratic primary of the year happened on Saturday and in a shocking result… Joe Biden won.
Not shocking.
Biden easily won all 55 delegates in the state, besting Marianne Williamson, who got 2.1% of the vote and Dean Phillips, who received 1.7% of the vote.
The Dean Phillips thing is so funny to me. This guy is actually an elected official! He’s a US House Rep! But he’s been such a nothing House Rep that the self-help author is doing better than him.
Neither of them have dropped out of the race, which is also hilarious because like… why? Nikki Haley doesn’t really have a path forward also, but I can understand why she’s sticking around. What are these silly little gooses doing?
Anyway. Next up, we’ve got the Nevada democratic primary tomorrow and the Nevada Republican caucus on Thursday. We’ll see how things go there and if we end the week with all the candidates we started with.
Oh, also, Nikki Haley was on SNL last weekend.
No comment.
Georgia RICO Case
-via Washington Post
In a court filing on Friday, Fulton County DA Fani Willis admitted to having had a personal relationship with the lawyer she appointed to lead the investigation into Trump and his little group of people that want to be friends with him and helped him try and steal the election for and with him.
It’s now up to a judge to decide whether a hearing will proceed. A hearing that stemmed from Team Trump, who accused Willis of the affair. The judge asked the Trump lawyer if a hearing was still needed, given the court filling. The lawyer responded saying that, despite Willis saying that the relationship did not create a conflict of interest and did not financially benefit her, she has evidence to the contrary.
So now we’re kind of in a holding pattern, though that may change by the time you hear this since I’m recording this on Sunday, waiting to see if the judge decides to proceed with hearing.
If there is a hearing, it means that the currently active RICO case in Georgia will be put on hold.
When we know more, we’ll know more.
But what we know so far… is a significant bummer.
Fighting in the Middle East
-via NY Times
Over the weekend, the United States launched a series of targeted attacks, including Friday’s airstrikes that hit more than 85 targets in Syria and Iraq, a move aimed at Iranian-back forces, including the group they say is responsible for the January 28th death of three America servicemembers.
On Saturday, the US and Bri’ish warplanes launches strikes at dozens of sites controlled by Houthi militants in Yemen.
And on Sunday, after the Houthis said they would respond to the US and British airstrikes, American forces destroyed a cruise missile that had posed “an imminent threat to U.S. Navy ships and merchant vessels in the region.”
Also on Sunday, Biden ordered further retaliation for the deaths of the three American servicemembers but declined to say how or when.
Meanwhile, Secretary of State Antony Blinken is headed back to the Middle East to continue negotiations related to the Israel-Hamas war and how it’s all starting to get a little real guys so if we could find a way to just take a breather on the killing people and like, go get some tea or coffee or something, that would make all of us feel a lot better. Ya know?
Trump Thinks He Looks Like Elvis
-via The Independent
And that’s kind of all the news, but I can’t leave you like that. I can’t leave you, on a Monday, with the last story being one about the impending doom of war.
So here’s something funny… over the weekend, Trump took to his super lame social media echo chamber to ask his followers if he looks like Elvis.
“For so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike. Now this pic has been going all over the place. What do you think?”
And then he posted a picture of him next to a picture of Elvis. And I truly… this man’s brain is broken! I mean! Like, politics aside, there’s just… but you like… you’ve seen yourself, right? Dude’s makeup line is terrible so we know he’s not looking in mirrors often enough but like… certainly he’s seen a picture of himself and a picture of Elvis.
And he believes it too! Because he said this back in 2018! His brain is broken!
This would be if I was like – yeah you know, me and Hannah Waddingham. Indistinguishable.
And then what’s worse? His saying that, or the weirdos that agreed?
Both. Both are worse.
“Do I look like Elvis?”
My Guy, I am begging you… get therapy.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Please note that I did not make a joke about looking like Kelly Clarkson. That’s because the joke just wouldn’t have landed, since obviously, as her kid sister, there’s a familial similarity. Especially now with the bangs.
But I am proud of Kelly Clarkson. And Hannah Waddingham. And my bangs, for how great they look today.
Also weather people. It’s really raining out here… they really called this one right.
But more than weatherpeople, because you’re never wrong, even when you’re a little wrong… I’m proud of you.