03/13/24

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, March 13th.

Ken Day! He’s just Ken!

And now, the news.

Hur Testifies

-via CNN

The big story is Tuesday’s testimony by Robert Hur, the former special council who investigated Biden’s mishandling of classified documents and then wrote a report saying that Biden didn’t do it with malintent but wowzers – dude’s old, huh?

This hearing was meant to explain why Biden was not charged with keeping the documents, as well as better understand why the report made such, frankly inappropriate comments, about his age. In other words, a little bit of everything for the democrats and republicans.

However, it really kind of devolved into both sides using the hearing to uplift their party’s nominee.

Republicans seemed anxious to remind the world that Biden is old (even though they probably should chill, as Trump’s just four years younger) and senile. Lest you think this is an exaggeration… Wisconsin’s Republican House Rep. Scott Fitzgerald said this: “Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘senile’ as exhibiting a decline of cognitive ability, such as memory, associated with old age. Mr. Hur, based on your report, did you find that the president was senile?”

To which Hur replied: “I did not. That conclusion does not appear in my report.”

Meanwhile, Washington Democrat Rep. Pramila Jayapal said the report exonerates Biden. Hur went back and said the word “exonerate” never appears in the report, to which Jayapal replied: “you exonerated him.”

All in all the hearing was much ago about nothing, though Hur himself got got – in his report, he says that Biden couldn’t remember the year that his son Beau died. In fact, through transcripts, it was proven that Biden could, obviously, recall the day and date.

People play politics all the time. That’s the gig in politics. That’s why it’s called “playing politics” and not playing… you know… roller hockey. But that this guy would twist things around regarding the death of the President’s son? Come on man.

I think the biggest takeaway is this: as a reminder, Hur’s team found plenty of exculpatory evidence that led him to conclude that the president’s actions weren’t illegal and criminal charges weren’t warranted.

House Republican Majority Shrinks Again

-via Twitter

And then there were two…

Colorado’s House Rep Ken Buck, who was already not running for re-election for another term, announced that he is actually leaving the House at the end of this week.

Bringing the House Republican majority to two.

He’s in the district that Lauren Boebert is hoping to win (as a reminder, she didn’t actually live there. She just realized that she wasn’t going to win in the 3rd district, so she moved to the 4th because she liked her chances better. Which is wild because it’s a very crowded field. Their primary is June 25th).

University of Missouri Student Missing

-via CBS News

Nashville police as searching for Riley Strain, a 22-year-old University of Missouri student who was last seen in Nashville. He and his friends were at a downtown bar and were kicked out, and he disappeared after that.

If you’re in the Nashville area, Strain is 6 feet 5 inches tall with blue eyes and light brown hair. He was last seen wearing a brown button-up shirt with darker sleeves and a matching dark front pocket.

So far, there are no leads.

US Will Send Ukraine Aid

-via AP News

Despite being $10 billion overdrawn in their weapon stockpile, the US will send $300 million worth of weapons to Ukraine.

The Pentagon notes that this is not a sustainable way to support Ukraine, calling this a “one time deal.”

Meanwhile, Congress is still not moving on the supplemental spending bill, which includes roughly $60 billion in military aid for Ukraine.

Boeing Whistleblower Found Dead

-via NPR

Here’s something…

Charleston police are investigating the death of John Barnett, a former Boeing quality control manager who was found dead from a gunshot wound to the head in a Holiday Inn parking lot the day after he testified in a deposition about the problems he identified at Boeing's plant.

Police are waiting for a formal cause of death as they investigate whether the gunshot was self-inflicted.

Maxwell Asks Court to Overturn Conviction

-via ABC News

In “well maybe you should have thought about this before you did the terrible terrible crimes!” news…

Ghislaine Maxwell has formally asked a federal appeals court to overturn her conviction and 20-year prison sentence, because she says she was immunized by an agreement federal prosecutors in Florida arranged with Epstein in 2007.

She brought this up in her trial and it was shot down, as the judge ruled that prosecutors in New York aren’t bound by the Florida agreement.

Oh no Ghislaine… are you miserable there in prison? Is it bumming you out? Are you having the worst time in your entire life?

…. GOOD.

Aaron Rodgers For Veep?

-via NY Times

And finally…

Just because we need to always be talking about what an unserious campaign this is…

Robert Kennedy Jr, who is running for president as an independent because he couldn’t win past a primary and so he’s jumping the line and running as an independent even though he’s actually a Trump-lite (in terms of experience) Republican is still mulling over his VP choices and, per the NY Times, at the top of his list is… Aaron Rodgers.

The anti-vaxx football player. And that’s… his only experience in politics. Just that his thing is being ant-vax.

This is not a serious campaign, but third-party candidacies are dangerous and guarantee Trump another term, so let’s get serious about telling people how bad this could be.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of… some girls. It’s also International Every Girl Wins Day and it’s like… yeah most girls. But not all girls. Also is this girls or all females and we’re calling adult women girls?

Also Ken! Ryan Gosling in general. Ken specifically.

But more than that… more than how handsome Ryan Gosling is… I’m proud of you.