03/06/24

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, March 6th.

National Oreo Day

Dude. Are you kidding me? I love an Oreo. I love dunking an Oreo until it’s just about to fall apart. And then the milk is all cookie-y.

Yes please.

And now, the news.

Election Night Results

-via NY Times

It was election night! Let’s break it down!

15 states went to the polls on Tuesday. As you would expect, Trump won most of the Republican states. Biden won the Democratic states.

There was a fun moment where Nikki Haley won Vermont but that was basically it.

At the end of the night, Super Tuesday ended with Trump losing Vermont and not taking 100% of the delegates up for grabs (final numbers may take a couple days to come in, after all the votes are counted, but he for sure will not get all of the delegates), while Biden won all states. Biden has not lost one single state in the primary. Trump has lost Virginia and D.C.

The real business was in the state races where Colin Allred won his primary, and will now take on Ted Cruz for a Senate seat. No one likes Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz doesn’t even like Ted Cruz, we know this because he still insistes on rocking that beard.

In California, the big race we’re all watching is the Senate primary where a jungle primary means it doesn’t matter what party they’re with, the top two winners head to the general. California is a vote-by-mail state, which means the results here are… uh… like it’s gonna take a while but it looks like it’s going to end up being Adam Schiff versus Steve Garvey.

So… here’s what I want to tell you.

It was Super Tuesday. How did you feel? How are you feeling right now, with hearing these results? Trump is still winning in the Republican primary race – how does that sit?

I promise I’m not trying to stress you out. But take a second and ask yourself what your knee-jerk reaction is, to remembering that Super Tuesday ended with Trump winning almost everywhere.

Super Tuesday is done – no one is coming to save us. It’s going to be on all of us.

Trump won, but Nikki Haley took a large amount of votes away from him in every single state. This is winnable. But it’s going to take work. It’s time to focus us. To find statewide races we want to volunteer for. To find non-voters we can get to turn out.

Time. Money. Influence.

You might not have all three, but you have at least one.

Can you donate to a race that could use the help? Can you make calls or knock doors for a candidate where turnout will make all the difference? Can you talk to your friends and make sure they’re going to vote?

This is it. November is the election that we need to go all in on.

It was election night in fifteen states last night. And today is the day where we need to decide what actions you can turn your feelings into.

Bye Bye Kiki

-via CNN

And just for fun, let’s end on a high note…

Kyrsten Sinema, whose name I have never, not once, even on accident, spelled correctly on the first try, announced on Tuesday that she’s dropping out of the Arizona Senate race.

Kiki Sims… I feel about her the same way I feel about Joey Manchy. But I talk about her less because she’s done less. But she’s had a nickname this whole time.

Kiki has been a Democrat until the democrats were like, we don’t like you and she was like – oh I just remembered that I’m not a democrat so you definitely aren’t hurting my feelings! That’s for sure! And then she became an independent, and then ran as an independent in her re-election campaign.

Which has been a very real worry because the Republican running in Arizona is Kari Lake, an election denier so her running as a third party candidate makes it easier for Lake to win, which is very very dangerous for, you know, the state of our democracy.

Her vibe was always like “I’m cooler than all of you,” which is such a wild way to view the Senate, which, at best, should be 100 of the lamest nerdiest people in the country. Which I say with love. Elizabeth Warren is such a nerd – I love her more than I love most people I’ve actually met in real life.

But Sinema’s vibe of like – look how cute I am, look how cool I am, I’m better than politics just never worked because then suddenly she’s doing a little curtsey as she votes down a $15 minimum wage, keeping people down.

Where do we think she goes from her? I’m thinking – a podcast called like “Senate Renegades” where she talks about how she was a rebel in the Senate and that’s why she couldn’t stay, and then CNN, or FOX News, bring her in for a show or panel.

Whatever. The point is, she’s out and that’s nice.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

Well, not really but Super Tuesday requires its own day and really that’s all I was going to talk about, but I couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk about Kiki Sims!

I’m proud of Oreos. They’re great – room temp. Frozen. Dry. Dunked in milk. Whatever. They’re excellent.

But more than that… because you don’t need to dunk yourself in milk to be treated with respect… I’m proud of you.