05/14/24
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, May 14th.
National Buttermilk Biscuit Day.
That’s right! The news is back, and so is one of the best desserts out there… a buttermilk biscuit with whipped cream and strawberries.
And now, the news.
Israel-Hamas War
Let’s start in Rafah, the southernmost city in the Gaza Strip, where Israel Defense Forces have begun what they call limited and precise attacks on Hamas, but it actually just a continued attack on everyone in the Gaza Strip.
As a reminder, when Israel Defense Forces first went into Gaza, they told everyone to evacuate south. And everyone, myself included, talked about how incredibly dense the Gaza Strip already was before the war pushed everyone south.
So far, 300,000 Gazans have evacuated Rafah and if you, like me, are wondering where there is left for them to go (because, frankly, there really isn’t anywhere left) - the Israeli military told them to evacuate to an “expanded humanitarian area in Al-Mawasi,” which both the UN and international officials have said is neither safe nor equipped these evacuees. But there is nowhere else for them to go.
The evacuation is happening because, although Israel says the attacks in Rafah will be targeted and precise, the nearly 35,000 people that have been killed, half of which are women and children, tell a different story.
And that story… is horrific.
Speaking of that particularly horrible number, on Monday the United Nations clarified the total number dead in Gaza after a report with some confusing language made it appear that the number dead was significantly less than what has been reported.
That’s not true. The number dead is 34,622.
However, the report that went out on Monday only included the number of identified people that have been killed since Israel began their response to Hamas’ October 7th attack. Only 24,686 people have been identified. Leaving about 10,000 people dead but not yet identified.
And just to really add horror on top of horror – that number, nearly 35,000, does not include the nearly 10,000 people missing and believed to be trapped under rubble.
Update: Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine
And over in Russia – they’re still invading Ukraine. It’s still very bad.
But what if I told you… they want to make it worse?
US and European officials now say that Putin is conducting a sabotage campaign across Europe, in an effort to undermine Western support for Ukraine.
Examples include: classic propaganda and disinformation flowing from Russia into Europe in an effort to sow divisions within NATO.
Also, arson.
Propaganda and arson – cool early aughts band name, terrible combination of things happening.
Apparently, in addition to the disinformation that we’ve come to expect from Russia, there have been actions like an alleged Russian-backed arson attack on a Ukrainian-linked warehouse in the UK, as well as a plot to bomb German military bases, and an attempt at jamming the GPS systems used for civil planes.
All of that as Russian forces attempted to break through the northern border over the weekend and into Monday. They were unable to do so, but it may have been a Russian tactic to bring Ukranian forces to the border, leaving the easter border open to more intense attacks.
One civilian died in the fighting. Don’t get it twisted though – it’s not that only one person died. It’s that Russia’s invasion has forced one of the largest towns in the area to go from 17,000 to 2,500 before Russian renewed their ground assault in the area over the weekend. As of this recording, only 2 or 300 people still live there.
What’d I Miss?
-via CBS News (Marjorie Taylor Greene), The Guardian and NY Times (Trump Trial), NY Times (RFK Jr)
And now, to quote Daveed Digg’s Jefferson in Hamilton (I say all that because I don’t want you out there talking about how I quote Thomas Jefferson)… “What’d I Miss?”
It was lovely to take a week off of the news, but a few things happened that I would love to tell you about…
First of all, as predicted, Marjorie Taylor Greene did attempt to get a vote to oust Speaker Johnson. And let me tell you, when the news broke that she brought it to the floor, I was so annoyed. It was my mom’s birthday! I’m trying to bring my mom cake and here comes Marjorie Taylor Greene to ruin everything!
And she did try to ruin everything, but it turns out that, for as much as she loves chaos, her fellow Republicans hate her more.
Before the vote could be brought to the floor, the House had to vote on whether they wanted to vote on it. 359 House members voted to table the motion. That means 43 House reps said – hey, yeah, let’s vote now. Of that 43… only 11 voted against tabling the motion.
She made hating this man her whole personality and don’t get me wrong, look at me – I make everything my whole personality. But if you’re gonna go out there and make everyone for real vote on how this… you better have the votes.
Turns out she’s as bad at counting as the Speaker is. Anyway, Mike Johnson is still the speaker and while it’s fun that Marjorie Taylor Greene failed, the bummer is that he’s still the speaker.
Well, actually the real bummer is that any of these yahoos are publicly elected officials. But, you know… we can multiple bummers.
And speaking of bummers… Trump is still on trial for his 2016 election interference crimes!
Last week, and on Monday, jurors heard from a few people, but two blockbuster witnesses.
First up last week was Stormy Daniels who confirmed, in way too many details, that yeah she definitely had, uh, relations with Trump.
She called it “brief” and noted that, if her, uh, relations with Trump were fake: "I would have written it to be a lot better."
Hey Kim, can this get more gross? Yeah, for sure. Because before they had, uh, relations… he said she reminded him of his daughter!
In the end, there were so many details that the judge even told her to reign it in a little. However, when Team Trump asked, twice, for a mistrial because of Stormy’s testimony, Judge Merchan denied the request and said it was because they didn’t object during the actual testimony.
So that was last week. On Monday, and continuing today, we’ll get Michael Cohen’s testimony. As a reminder, Cohen was Trump’s fixer who actually went to jail for his part in the crime Trump is now on trial for, as well as tax fraud and lying on the stand. Lying… for Trump.
On Monday we learned that it was Melanie who said the Access Hollywood tape should be labeled “locker room talk.” We also learned that when Trump was trying to cover up the Stormy affair, he “wasn’t thinking about Melania,” and even made a comment about how he wouldn’t be on the market long if she left him.
Cohen’s testimony will continue today.
And then the last big piece of news that came out while I was off was… RFK Jr, the third party candidate who has no mathematical chance of actually winning this thing and will, instead, hand the election to Trump, announced he had a dead worm in his brain!
That’s not a euphemism (I don’t even know how it would be!)
In addition to other health issues he had yet to disclose before this, RFK Jr reported that a worm got into his brain, ate part of it, and then died. And it’s still in there! Because they don’t leave.
Part of his brain got eaten by a worm!
I’m not trying to pick on him but… you know… it’s hard not to when, in response to our response to this (which was “ew” and also “uh oh”) he said… and this is not a joke, he literally tweeted: “I offer to eat 5 more brain worms and still beat President Trump and President Biden in a debate.” Adding, in a second tweet “I feel confident of the result even with a six-worm handicap.”
I don’t know what part of the brain stops you from tweeting stuff like that but… I think we figured out what killed the worm!
And when you learned that part of his brain got eaten by a worm that died and is still in his brain, weren’t you a little bit like yeah, that makes sense.? So mayhaps this is not the guy.
Mayhaps we just get over the fact that Biden’s a little old?
And that’s it. That’s the news!
I’m certain I forgot stuff. I don’t have a brain worm, I just took a week off from the news. Can I be honest? It was lovely.
I’m proud of buttermilk biscuits! So versatile!
But more than that… because you are also sweet but great when you’re a little salty… I’m proud of you.