03/18/25
Good morning! It’s Monday, March 18th.
Awkward Moment’s Day.
Not sure what that is. Never had one of those!
You know what’s a bummer – I was intending on coming back yesterday, but just needed an extra day to recover. But I started writing at least the cold open, so I’m gonna do it here even though it doesn’t make any sense.
St Patrick’s Day.
And just like little Saint Patrick, I too have reemerged from the dead and am back. Is that what St Patrick’s Day is? Something about snakes.
Anyway, I’m back. Clovers are back. Get your flu shots.
…I know a little bit about Saint Patrick’s Day. Don’t come at me.
And now, the news.
Deadly Storms
Starting with weather on the tens and twos, which is never a good sign.
A series of severe storms, more than 970 reports, ravaged through nine states over the weekend, ravaging the Midwest and South, and leaving at least 40 people dead and hundreds of thousands without power.
As of this recording, this new tornado watch is in effect for West Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.
Probably a bad time to bring this up but, among the hundreds of thousands of federal employees the Trump Administration is firing are about 800 employees of NOAA, also known as the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. In addition to fighting climate change NOAA is also responsible for providing federal weather forecasts.
Pulse Club
-via BBC
Pyrotechnics are being blamed for a fire in Macedonia, at what’s being called an improvised nightclub. So far, the death toll at Pulse Club has grown to 59, with 155 others injured. Originally the number of attendees was listed as 1,500, but officials have since brought that figure down.
The fire broke out around 2:30 AM on Sunday morning. Officials are investigating and so far 15 people have been detained, since the space, which was previously a carpet warehouse, did not have a legal license to operate.
US vs Ukraine
When last we left our president and his little band of terrible decision makers (what’s what I call his brain, and also the people who stand near him in pictures), he used his one wild and crazy life to call Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy a dictator and noted that he hadn’t had an election recently.
Setting aside the fact that Ukraine is literally not legally allowed to have elections in times of war, it’s also physically impossible. Hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians have been displaced, with thousands of others on the front line fighting to save their country from a power-hungry dictator who is, in fact, actually a dictator.
And that was bad enough – calling a democratically-elected president dictator while he is trying to hold his country together with his bare hands is already pretty bad.
But how could we make it worse?
Last month, on the 28th, President Trump had a meeting with President Zelensky. What it was meant to be, like the literal specific details, were as follows: a pool spray, which is a quick photo opp in the Oval Office, after a meeting. Trump, though, he likes to do the pool spray before, while also allowing reporters to ask questions, and then do the meeting, and a press conference (if that’s the plan) after. He just likes to be on camera at all times.
So Zelensky and Trump sit down for the spray before their meeting and a meal. And from the jump, Trump is just… he’s so rude.
Famously, Zelensky wears all-black military clothing, as a way to signal support for his troops. As he goes to shake his hand, Trump starts with “oh you’re all dressed up.”
What do you want, man, a tie that touches his knees on a suit that’s never been properly fitted?
They talked for a while about these rare earth minerals Trump probably just learned about and wants. They were meant to sign a deal later that day.
However… JD Vance exists. And about 40 minutes into the meeting, unable to keep quiet, he makes some comment about how the path to peace is through Zelensky engaging in diplomacy.
Zelensky.
Whose country has been invaded.
He’s the one, apparently, who needs to engage in diplomacy.
And that was the end of it. What followed was ten minutes of Trump and Vance being wildly rude. Vance told him, “I think it’s disrespectful for you to come into the Oval Office to try to litigate this in front of the American media. You should be thanking the president for trying to bring an end to this conflict.”
Trump then shouted at him, “You’re gambling with World War III.”
Trump kicked the press out after that and canceled the rest of the day with Zelensky. Disgustingly, well, it’s all gross, but as Trump kicked the media out, he said, “This is going to be great television, I will say that.”
The big thing seems to be that he never said thank you to America for all the help we’ve given. That was Vance’s thing. “Have you ever said thank you?”
Setting aside that he has, multiple times, including after he left the White House – we are not supposed to be doing the right thing for thank yous and praise. We do the right thing, especially on a global level, because it’s the right thing to do.
There is a gamble being made on World War III, but it’s Trump doing the gambling.
Lindsay Graham, who earlier met with Zelensky and warned him that Trump would try to change the narrative and kind of trick him into it, later said “I have never been more proud of the president.”
Big loser energy from Graham.
So all of this to say, now we’re living in a world where Trump and Putin are working on a peace deal, and Zelensky is trying to catch up. It’s unclear how involved he’s allowed to be – on Monday, the White House press secretary said that Zelensky and other Kyiv officials have been “engaged” in talks around dividing “assets”… we don’t know what it means to have them “engaged,” nor do we know for sure what those assets are. Putin and Trump have a call today where we’ll likely get more information and, more likely… the information probably won’t be awesome. Won’t make us feel safe.
So glad to be back doing the news.
Houthi Airstrikes
-via CBS News
On Saturday, the US launched a series of airstrikes into Yemen, with Trump saying we would use “overwhelming lethal force” until Houthis stop their attacks on shipping vessels in the Red Sea. I know it gets a little confusing when it comes to the cast of characters over there, but as a reminder…
The Houthis operate out of Yemen, but are financed by Iran. Iran also funds Hamas. After the October 7thattack on Israel by Hamas, the Houthis said they would also shoot at ships linked to Israel. US officials say they are violating that by attacking ships with no connection to the war. And though there’s an argument to be made about whether we are connected to the war, given the fact that Trump put out an AI-generated video about what a Trump Gaza would look like (seriously, it’s so embarrassing and dangerous… as is everything about this timeline), we are technically, legally speaking, not in this war.
13 people were killed, and another 9 were injured, as a result. It is unclear if any of those killed or injured were civilians.
This isn’t the first time we’ve done this, but as with anything he does, Trump is a wildcard so this is just something to keep an eye on.
And that’s what you want to hear. Just something to keep an eye on.
US Budget
-via NPR
Something else that happened while I was gone, and therefore obviously you don’t know about it at all because I am nothing if I am not your only source for news (no no, please don’t let that be the case) – anyway, something else that happened was the fight over the budget.
On Saturday, President Trump signed a short-term spending bill. It was unclear if it would pass, with all but one House Democrat voting against it and many Senate Democrats as well. However, Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said he was signing it, which lead nine other Democrats to sign off as well.
There was a big push to get Senate Dems to finally, please, just do one thing with the tiny amount of power we have. And yet…
So, this is news because it’s news. It’s also news because now Schumer is on a PR tour to try and convince the country that he’s the right person to lead Democrats through this moment. We’ll see what ends up happening.
His reasoning for passing the bill was that a government shutdown would have allowed Trump and his best most special government employee to do anything he wants. But like – they already are. And so you just gave up your power for what? What are we doing here?
Ted Lasso
-via Deadline
And finally, in well well well news. As well as oh, I see the naysayers have some apologizing to do and also I never doubted you for a second news…
Season four of Ted Lasso has officially been confirmed.
I did it!
That’s right – me.
Because the second that season three finale aired I was like it wasn't over...it still isn't over. And yes that’s a quote from the Notebook and no I don’t care. I’m excited. Did you hear this episode? What else is there to be excited about?
No really, what else is there to be excited about?
Anyway, this is great. I’m excited. This show is free, it costs you nothing to also be excited.
In other news… resume and references available upon request.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
No, not really. I mean, yes this is the end of this episode but no it’s not all the news. There are some very serious stories about immigration that need to be covered, but I couldn’t fit it into this episode. So that’ll be tomorrow’s big news.
In the meantime, I’m proud of… awkward moments. Because we persevere.
Also Ted Lasso… because we persevere.
And Hannah Waddingham, because I talked about Ted Lasso.
But more than awkward moments, because you are something I never want to forget… I’m proud of you.