01/05/23
Good morning! It’s Thursday, January 5th. National Whipped Cream Day.
This is a very exciting day for Ruth, who loves whipped cream. It’s her favorite treat. I’m gonna give her some after I finish recording.
And now, the news.
The Search for Speaker Continues
-via AP News
Once again, the top story is, of course, the search for the next American Idol. I mean Speaker of the House.
We already have an American Idol. Her name is Kelly Clarkson and how very dare you drag her into this.
Voting in the House continued for Speaker today. Just like yesterday, it was messy. But it was, kind of, semi-organized chaos. By that I mean, the defectors settled on one specific alternate candidate – Fl. House Member Bryon Donalds. In the end, neither got enough votes for speaker. Neither did Democrat Hakeem Jeffries but, just like Tuesday, the party stayed united in their 212 votes for him. Which means, just like Tuesday, Jeffries got the most votes in the House. But just not enough to cross the threshold.
The House held three votes before they broke for a few hours. When they came back in the evening, McCarthy decided he didn’t want any more votes that day (because of how this is so so embarrassing for him), so they voted to break for the night and resume today. Although the vote to break for the night was a little chaotic.
All of this means, once again, we have no Speaker. The new Congress has yet to be sworn in. And no one can do any work. Congrats Kev, you’ve really done it this time. What a pickle you find yourself in.
Dinkus. Dinkuses all around.
Catch George Santos If You Can
-via The Daily Beast, NY Times, & NY Times
I say no one’s been sworn in yet, but there is one freshman member of Congress that would like us to believe that’s not the case. Let me introduce you to George Santos of the, you probably tell people you’re related to West Wing’s president santos, Santos’.
If you haven’t heard about this guy yet, oh buddy. Strap in. This newly elected member from New York lied all the way through his candidacy. And not just like, “no I always go to church. You just don’t know the church I go to. She goes to a different school,” lying. I mean…
Writing in his campaign biography, that his maternal grandparents were Jews who fled persecution in Ukraine, settled in Belgium, fled once again during World War II, and finally settled in Brazil. Several outlets looked into this and found no Jewish anstesty. To which he said he’s Catholic and because he learned his maternal family had a Jewish background, he said he was ‘Jew-ish.’”
He lied about the schools he went to.
He claimed his mom was the first female executive at a major financial institution and 9/11 claimed her life. Then years later changed the date she died. Then claimed she died because of 9/11-related cancer… his mom was domestic worker, a cook, and a nurse. Not an exec at a financial institution.
Speaking of financial institutions – he claimed to work for Goldman Sachs and Citigroup. Sure didn’t. He also said he ran a charity that saved thousands of dogs. You guessed it… he, in fact, did not.
Oh! He also said four of his employees died in the Pulse nightclub shooting. Nope.
And there are a ton more. Including just this past Tuesday, when he changed his official House website to say he’d been sworn in as a House member.
Which is impossible, because of how no one has been sworn in.
And, for some reason, he also put that he voted on the Omnibus bill in December, which I’m sure is correct if he used a Fisher-Price Big Boy Voting Toy Set. But as he is, still, not a sworn in member of Congress – dude did not vote on that bill officially.
He is currently under federal investigation for his financial dealings, as well as local investigation in Nassau County for his numerous lies. Oh! And a 2008 court case in Brazil will revive fraud cases against him, which they’d previously suspended because they couldn’t find him.
Honestly, I really genuinely do not believe this guy knows how Google works. That’s the only explanation I can think of for how he thought he would get away with this. Also, please go look at videos of him during these Speaker votes. No one wants to sit with him. There’s a clip of him sitting alone and literally picking his nose. Apparently at one point someone asked him his name and when he introduced himself, the person said nothing and just walked away. Dude is NOT having a good time.
Damar Hamlin Update
Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin is still in critical condition but, per a statement from the Bills, has shown signs of improvement.
He remains on a vent in the ICU.
Obviously he and his family remain in everyone’s thoughts and something that’s been really incredible to watch is – last month Hamlin set up a GoFundMe to raise $2,500 for a toy drive in his community. As of this recording, it’s raised $6.8 million. There’s a link to the GoFundMe page in show notes.
Idaho Murder Update
-via NBC News
Bryan Kohberger, the suspect in the killing of four Idaho college students in November, was removed from a Pennsylvania county jail, where he was originally apprehended, and turned over to state police. Although, for obvious reasons, the details behind his return to Idaho are not being made public, TMZ appears to have footage of him on the ground in Illinois while the private plane he took to Idaho was refueled.
This has not been reported by any other outlets.
California Super Storm
-via NPR
It’s raining in California.
Wait, let me amend that statement.
Because, dude, it’s like… for real for real raining out here, with many areas preparing to see the effects of something called a bomb cyclone: which is a rapidly intensifying storm.
To prepare the state for this slow-moving storm, Governor Newsom has signed a statewide state of emergency to get help where needed.
Nancy Ward, the new director of the California Governor's Office of Emergency Services, said, "this may be one of the most challenging and impactful series of storms to touch down in California in the last five years.”
So… stay safe and warm friends.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Let me tell you who I’m not proud of – George Santos. What are ya, a character whose storyline was dropped out of Blast from the Past? It’s 2023 my guy – Google. Bing. Alta Vista. People know how to look stuff up ya bing bong.
But I am proud of whipped cream. And of Ruth, for learning the sound of the canister and knowing it’s time to go get a treat. I’m also proud because I’ve tried to give her the kind that comes in a tub, but she refuses to eat it. She’s a lady with standards and, although I’m not sure where she learned them, I’m still proud of that.
But more than that, more than me sitting on the ground and trying to explain that it’s basically the exact same thing as canned whipped cream but this is just a little easier and probably better for the environment, because you also refuse to lower your standards… I’m proud of you.