01/06/23

Good morning! It’s Friday, January 6th. National Walking Day. Oh wait, I’m sorry, that’s wrong. National Walker’s Shortbread Day.

You hear that, Apple TV? It’s National Shortbread Day. Any chase you want to do something with that? Any air dates you want to announce in conjunction with that piece of information?

No.

Okay. Fine.

And now, the news.

The House Is (Still) Not in Order

-via Washington Post, CNN, & NBC News

Just as it’s been all week, the top story today is, of course, the search for the next Top Chef. No I’m sorry, I’m kidding. The search for the next Speaker of the House.

In five rapid fire votes (as rapid fire as something that requires 433 people to vote in can be), Kevin McCarthy ended the day as a historic 11-time loser in his bid for Speaker. The last time it took more than 11 votes to land on a speaker, the year was 1821.

Ah yes, I remember it well.

The House will reconvene today, starting at noon DC time.

Today is also the second anniversary of January 6th. And obviously I’m recording this on the 5th so I don’t really know what it’ll feel like, but I have a feeling it is going to feel particularly disgusting to watch these wannabe authoritarians and insurrectionists (which I mention because of how some of them are under investigation for their actions on the 6th) continue to  stand there, in the People’s House, and put a stop to basic function of government on this dark anniversary. Genuinely, just thinking about it right now is putting a pit in my stomach.

Over in the East Room of the White House, President Biden will host a ceremony to mark the occasion. Details are sparce but Biden is expected to honor 12 people with one of the highest civilian honors, the Presidential Citizens Medal, for their actions on the 6th. More than half of the honorees are current for former law enforcement officers.

And over in the House, we’re got people like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who said if she’d planned the 6th, they would have brought weapons and they would have one. We’ve got Paul Gosar, who once posted a video depicting a cartoon version of himself killing President Biden and fellow House member Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. We’ve got Matt Gaetz, who asked for a blanket pardon for his actions on the 6th and whose sex trafficking charges are stalled but not formally closed. And we’ve got Jim Jordan, nominated at one point for Speaker, who has refused to cooperate with the January 6th committee after texts to Mark Meadows came to light. And those are just four examples of the party that decided, instead of further investigating the insurrection on the Capitol to make sure it never happens again, they would rather shut it down and investigate Biden as political retaliation.

Meanwhile, more than 1000 military veterans, active-duty members, law enforecement officers, and military family members signed a letter asking top House Republicans to publicly condemn the violence of the 6th. No word yet on if they’ll actually do it.

Yesterday Matt Gaetz rose to nominate Donald Trump for Speaker. And again, I don’t know how I’ll be feeling tomorrow but if that guy stands up tomorrow and nominates Donald Trump again, on the 2 year anniversary of the insurrection he organized, in the House where the insurrection took place and turned deadly… oh bud. Will I be furious.

New Findings in Bryan Kohberger Charges

-via NPR

New evidence in the case against Bryan Kohberger, charged with killing four Idaho college students, has been released. It includes a DNA sample from a leather sheath found in one of the victim’s beds, which appears to be a close match to Kohberger. Additionally, security footage shows a white sedan, which they have on camera in Idaho, leaving and returning to Washington State University, where Kohberger is a student, at times that would line up with their crime timeline. Crime-line.

Kohberger arrived back in Idaho on Wednesday night.

Peloton Settlement

-via NPR

Peloton will pay a $19 million fine for failing to make a known defect of their treadmills public in a timely manner. It took more than 150 reports of people, pets, and objects being pulled under the treadmill by the time the company told regulators.

South Carolina Will Constitutionally Protect Abortion Rights

-via NY Times

South Carolina’s state Supreme Court has ruled that the state’s Constitutional right to privacy includes the right to an abortion, overturning South Carolina’s abortion ban at around the 6-week mark.

While the Republican-led state legislature may try and push back by signing new abortion restrictions into law, this ruling will largely limit any moves they want to make.

Update on Ukraine

-via AP News

Russia’s president Putin ordered a 36-hour cease-fire in their attack on Ukraine because of Orthodox Christmas. To which Ukraine’s Zylensky said… yeah. No. We’re not gonna do that. We don’t trust you. Because of how you’re invading our country and killing our people.

It is currently unclear is Russia’s cease-fire depends on Ukraine’s acceptance.

Damar Hamlin Update

-via CNN

“Did we win?” That is the question Damar Hamlin asked yesterday. Because, although he has a long road ahead of him, and is still on a vent, Hamlin is awake and, per his doctors, neurologically sound. He’s moving his hands and feet, and communicating with a clipboard.

Absolutely incredible.

And let’s go out on that high note.

That’s it. That’s the news!

I’m proud of… I’ll tell you what – on January 6th, I’m proud, as always, of everyone who stood up and stopped an insurrection. Stopped a coup. Stopped the pillars of our democracy from crumbling down, in service of someone who couldn’t even successfully sell steak.

And because today is the day it is, a day to celebrate bravery in the face of extraordinary circumstances… as always… I’m proud of you.