07/12/23
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, July 12th.
Etch a Sketch Day!
It’s also Amazon Prime Day which is great but you know what is also great? Spending money other places. Like Etsy. But you can’t get an Etch a Sketch on Etsy, so… I guess I don’t really have a point.
And now, the news.
Van Houten Released on Parole
-via NY Times
Leslie Van Houten, a former member of the Manson family that was convicted on two counts of murder and one of conspiracy to commit murds in 1971, has been released on parole.
She will have a maximum three-year parole term, and has been transferred to transitional housing.
Though he says he will not do so this time, Governor Newsom has reversed her parole three times, as recently as March of 2022.
Vermont Flooding
-via Washington Post
The harsh weather continues in Vermont, which Governor Scott is calling “historic and catastrophic.” More than 100 people have been rescued by boat, with many other still trapped. No deaths have been reported, luckily, though thousands of homes and businesses have been lost.
The rain at least had the decency to stop Tuesday morning, though more rain is expected Thursday and Friday.
Sen. Tuberville Leaves Marines without Leader
Tommy Tuberville, the Senator from Alabama who just this Monday said that white nationalists aren’t racist and he just calls them Americans, has left the Marines without Senate-confirmed commandant for the first time in more than 150 years.
So here’s the deal: on Monday, the position was vacated and the current assistant commandant, which is the highest-ranking officer in the Marines, was nominated to replace him.
But, thanks to Tuberville, his confirmation has been delayed because Tommy doesn’t approve of the Pentagon’s 2022 decision to support service members and their family who go out of state for abortion care. So in the meantime, the current assistant will have to perform his current job and the job he’s been nominated for.
Literally holding up the leadership for a whole branch of the military because you don’t like the idea that someone is having a different life experience than you.
By the by, on Monday, Toms FINALLY condemned white nationalists and said they were racist. But first of all, that’s the bare minimum. And second, I don’t believe he’s changed his mind. I think he just realized he had an optics issue. And not for nothing, what are you doing pretending like a white nationalist isn’t racist? First of all, they are. Second of all, they’re not shy about it.
I don’t like this guy. Because of the aforementioned reasons. But also – a grown adult that goes by Tommy? Suspicious at best…
E. Jean Carroll Case Update
-via CNN
The Department of Justice has changed their minds and now says Donald Trump should no longer be granted immunity for his response to E. Jean Carroll’s sexual assault allegations, allowing a civil suit to move to trial.
So originally, he was given that immunity because he made the comments during the time he was president and so the DOJ determined that he was acting within the scope of his employment or serving the US government when he said E. Jean Carroll wasn’t his type.
However, after he was convicted in the civil trial, and then continued to run his mouth and basically continue to do the crime of defamation even after he was found guilty of it, the DOJ now says – hey man, like, we’re gonna have to lift this immunity. Because you were already convicted of this crime, so you can’t really be immune anymore. And even though you probably did like about the allegations, you for sure weren’t doing it to be of service to this country so… my guy, you’re headed to court.
Trump Crime Update Time
-via NY Times
Now, as a reminder, the E. Jean Carroll case doesn’t call under Trump Crime Update Time because we don’t crackwise about sexual assault.
But don’t worry, because aside from that, we have a little…
Trump Crime Update Time
To play around with.
Just a little update on the time Trump called dibs on our nation’s most precious secrets and then took him home and instead of letting them be his sneaky little secret, he put them on a stage, in a tacky bathroom, and then told people about them in-between Coke refills.
In other words… illegal dib calling crimes.
In a motion filed 30 minutes before the deadline, lawyers for Stick Fingers McGee asked a judge to postpone his trial… indefinitely.
Ugh, I get it. You’ve seen Notting Hill.
(Side note, how great is Notting Hill?)
Anyway, obviously the goal here isn’t to, you know, clear Trump’s name but to tie the whole thing up and just hope Trump wins in 2024 so he can truly break the Constitution for real and pardon himself.
So now we’ll see what Judge Cannon, who has previously ruled in Trump’s favor, does.
They’re reasoning for the delay is because it takes time to run for President. Which is true but, you know, mayhaps he should have thought about that before he did crimes?
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of Notting Hill. I just watched it the other day actually. It’s funny! I also watched Free Willy and cried. Am I… okay?
(I am. Don’t worry.)
But more than that, more that Oscar-winning actress Anna Scott… because you’re award-winning in my book… I’m proud of you.