01/18/24

Good morning! It’s Thursday, January 18th.

National Michigan Day!

So bust out those cherries and ice wine, and give some love to the mitten state.

And now, the news.

Trump in Court

-via AP News

Trump was in court again today, and dude was… the worst, as always.

And like, listen… any other case – New York civil money crimes case? Oh pal, we’d be having some jokes here! The laughs we’d have.

But this has its roots in truly horrible behavior so there’s no jokes to be had here. And I only point that out, again, because you really do have to be a special kind of monster to act like this at a defamation hearing that stems from a sexual assault, for while you’ve already been found liable.

He literally talked over E. Jean Carroll’s testimony, and then after a warning, could still be heard telling his lawyer, “it is a witch hunt” and “it really is a con job.”

The judge threatened to toss him out but also acknowledged, “I understand you’re probably very eager for me to do that.”

Which is super accurate because, as I mentioned yesterday, he is using his actual real crimes and actual real court time, as part of his campaign. Which is why he continued to go back and forth with the judge, like a child, with Trump literally saying, about the possibility of being kicked out, “I would love it.”

What a… not good dude.

So yeah… this one is expected to go fast, since it’s only about how much he’ll owe, but in the meantime – it’s not going well.

Maine Hits Pause

-via CBS News

And speaking of that dude and his crimes…

As you may recall, Maine’s Secretary of State became the first in the country to decide Trump can’t be on the ballot, because of insurrection, in the state’s primary. And she did it without a court case, she just… made the choice.

Well on Wednesday, the Maine Superior Court said they are actually going to his pause on that decision until the US Supreme Court makes their ruling on a similar(ish) decision in Colorado. Though in Colorado, kicking him off the ballot came from a court’s ruling. Either way, they’re waiting to see what the Supremes do in Colorado, and in the meantime, Trump will remain on the state’s primary ballot.

Their primary, BTW, is March 5th. Super Tuesday.

Obviously, no one knows how the Supremes will rule, or when, but uh… here we are.

Sen. Chuck Grassley

-via CNN

Chuck Grassley, a Republican Senator out of Iowa, has been hospitalized with an infection and is currently out of the Senate while he gets treatment.

And so now we just… hope we can get a budget passed while he’s in the hospital and unable to vote.

Listen, obviously feel better soon but you know… dude is 90.

What goes on? Does the Senate not have a good retirement plan? Like, you know you can retire, right? See the sun. Touch the grass.

Come on.

And then, apropos of nothing in this story, but it’s not really worth the whoosh of another story, House Speaker Johnson (ugh) doesn’t want to revive stalled legislation that would send aid to Ukraine unless Democrats agree to more border crackdown. “Hey, we’re not here to help people! We’re here to get likes and follows,” Johnson said.

Not really. But not not really…

It’s funny because Senate Democrats and Republicans believe they have a deal, but it’s the House Republicans who are putting the hold on it all. And so I know this much be driving Sen. Mitch McConnell nuts and I just… he has bad where there should be good and so it’s nice to know that he’s probably frustrated.

DeSantis Moving Out of New Hampshire

-via NY Times

The New Hampshire primary is in six days and Ron DeSantis has made the brave decision to… pack his bags and move to South Carolina. That’s right, he is bypassing New Hampshire, where he didn’t have much of a shot anyway. Listen, the minutia of all this is fascinating for me and boring for normal people, but I’m only mentioning it because his super PAC is called Never Back Down, and that’s an ironic name for a PAC that is backing out of New Hampshire and paring down its staff.

Like he stood a chance in New Hampshire. That’s Jed Barlett country – not a single one of these ding dongs deserve a single vote in Barlett country.

Canadian Arsonist

-via CNN

And finally, here’s an interesting little story…

A Canadian climate conspiracy theorist, who claimed the Canadian government was deliberately setting fires… has pled guilty to starting 14 fires between May and September last year.

He also, apparently, doesn’t even remember how many he really started. So we’re starting with 14 and then we’ll just… I guess see if he remembers setting more?

So I guess this is a good time to remind you – first and foremost, don’t set fires. Feels like an obvious one but apparently it still needs to be said. And also, if you’re doing crimes (which you shouldn’t. I’m not saying you should.), but if you do… don’t talk about it and blame it on the government. Because then people are going to start being like – hey, he seems really into these fires. Let’s look into him.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of… people that don’t set fires. If you’re a non-arsonist in Canada, you got a big thumbs up from me.

Also Michigan, big mittened thumbs up.

But more than a fancy coffee, because it’s also national gourmet coffee day, because you’re fun when you rhyme… I’m proud of you.