01/19/24

Good morning! It’s Friday, January 19th.

National Popcorn Day.

I don’t want to talk about popcorn. (I don’t know why I said that like people are always – oh Kim! Talk about popcorn!)

But no, for real, I don’t want to talk about popcorn.

I want to talk about how sometimes in school, the class would do read aloud time and the kid would read aloud and then go “popcooooorn” and pick another kid to read. And I really hated that. Because guess what? I’m not listening to the kid reading, I’m reading ahead in case I get popcorned and I don’t want to mess up my turn to read.

Are teachers still doing that? If they are… they shouldn’t.

And now, the news.

DOJ Report on Uvalde

-via CNN

Let’s start with the US Department of Justice’s review of the horrific shooting that took place in May of 2022 in Uvalde, Texas.

It’s been more than a year and a half since an eighteen year old went into Robb Elementary School, killing 21 people, including 19 8- and 9-year-olds, and injuring another 17.

Since then, there have been a lot of questions about what happened. Not how could this happen, this is America and no one seems to want to solve that problem, but specifically – what happened between 11:30am, when a teacher called 911 after the shooter crashed into a ravine adjacent to the school and subsequently shot at two witnesses without hitting them,  and 1:06pm, when the shooter was killed after officers broke into the classroom.

Now there’s a 575-page report that calls this an “unimaginable horror” brought on by a lack of courage and “cascading failures of leadership, decision-making, tactics, policy, and training.”

Starting with not recognizing that the situation where someone with a gun was in a classroom of young kids was actually an active shooter situation. They ran towards the classroom, then froze and retreated when they heard gunfire.

And even though the sheriff and acting chief were both there, on scene, no one stepped up and so a game warden, whose normal job including issuing fishing licenses, was actually performing the role of incident commander.

It’s a scathing report and it only came out a few hours before I recorded this, so I’m sure there will be more fallout but it’s like… it’s infuriating.

To see that this report notes that police acted with “no urgency” in a situation like that.

Truly disgusting.

Short-Term Spending Bill Passes Through Congress

-via Washington Post

Okay… so originally, last week, I was like – I want to start making these Fridays show fun, when possible. So I woke up yesterday ready to rock and roll with some fun little jokes, and then the Uvalde report came out and not only are there no jokes there, but I read about the report with a blinding rage. So…

So let’s lean into that woosh, and move to the next story which is… hey! Congress! Ya made a little… you did a cute little budget thing.

Ahead of a potential government shutdown that would have started today, the House and Senate passed a bill to fund the government into March.

This is the third stopgap spending bill in four months.

So is this what we’re doing now? Just like… stopgaps on stopgaps on stopgaps because no one wants to do their dang job in an election year? Like, at some point we have to have a budget. A real one.

And by the way, this stopgap is pretty much follows the deal McCarthy and Biden struck, which costs him his little hammer he loved so much that he quit his job because someone took his toy. What a ding dong. Anyway, it is nice, for me, to picture him at home so super mad that this deal is basically the same deal and no one’s mad at Speaker Johnson for it, like they were mad at McCarthy.

And it’s like.. don’t worry Kev. They’re probably mad at him too. But unlike you, who was feckless and terrible at politics and went all in on the guy who couldn’t even sell steaks, Mike Johnson is also feckless and terrible, but he’s real weirdo on top of all of it. And now the Republicans know they’re stuck with him. And isn’t that kind of a punishment in and of itself?

Anyway, so there’s a stopgap bill and we’ll see what happens between now and the new deadline of March 1st, since the House and Senate are only in session together for six days between now and then.

What a gig!

Senate Republicans Support Trump

-via The Hill

And in more… I’m so mad, that all I can do is bully, news… Mitch McConnell, who said, straight up, “there is no question that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of that day,” and “a mob was assaulting the Capitol in his name. These criminals were carrying his banners, hanging his flags, and screaming their loyalty to him…” that guy joined with other Senate Republicans to sign a brief in support of keeping Trump on the ballot.

It was filed by Steve Scalise (who said “By taking away people’s choice, the Colorado Supreme Court is setting a dangerous precedent and subverting the will of the American people,” because now he cares about choice…) and Ted Cruz. And anytime you find yourself on Ted Cruz’s side… that’s a yuck. That’s no good.

Anyway, this isn’t a surprise but it’s like… I get it. Ya didn’t find him guilty in the Senate of insurrection. But the House did. And you should have, but ya said he did it, Mitch. You said it and you watched it happen.

And I just… flames. Flames on the side of my face. I can’t even talk about this anymore.

I gotta go to my happy place… Parks and Rec. Kelly Clarkson’s bangs. Mandy Moore’s career. A fourth season for Ted Lasso.

Okay, I’m back.

Listen… they’re the worst. Let’s just vote them out.

And that’s it. That’s the news.