03/21/25
Good morning! It’s Friday, March 21st.
International Day of Forests
Remember forests? No no, I’m kidding. There are still forests. It’s just that now we’re in charge of them.
And now, the news.
DOGE Goes Fishing
-via AP News, The Independent, NY Times, and Washington Post
Starting with news about everyone’s least favorite most special government employee – on Thursday, a federal judge put a temporary block on Musk and DOGE’s raid on the Social Security Administration’s incredibly sensitive information about millions of Americans.
Judge Hollander called the DOGE team’s raid a “fish expedition” in search of a “fraud epidemic” that she said is based on “little more than suspicion.”
The suit was filed by labor unions as well as retirees on the idea that DOGE’s “nearly unlimited” access to things you literally don’t want anyone to know is, you know, very bad.
We spend our lives doing two things… being silly little goofs when the moment calls for it… and protecting our social security numbers. And it turns out, a guy who is a goof (but not in a fun way just like – you’re a buffoon), is just going in there with a merry band of basically pre-teens (they’re adults, but only barely) and taking our numbers.
And for what?
What are you gonna do with them?
I don’t trust that guy.
Yeah, that’s right. I’ll say it. I’ll be brave… I don’t trust him. And I don’t like the cut of his jib! And I definitelydon’t like how he did a nazi salute! (We can literally never forget that happened.)
Also, it sounds like the person running DOGE (which isn’t allowed to be Elon Musk because he’s just the most special government employee and so even though Trump has said, a million times, that Elon is running it, technically there is someone else) – that person is Steve Davis, who Elon once described as chemo, adding, “A little chemo can save your life; a lot of chemo could kill you.”
What a group.
Meanwhile, and this is real, the Commerce Secretary is urging Americans to buy shares of Tesla stock because it’s tanking.
Also, speaking of how social security numbers are supposed to be so private that when I’m filling out new hire paperwork I can only write the last four digits because even though this information is going to someone that is going to pay me money we still can’t let people have all the numbers…
On Tuesday, the Trump administration made a whole big deal about releasing more than 2,00 documents, totaling more than 60,000 pages related to the 1963 JFK assassination. Not much new info was in these pages, with a lot of them being just pages that were previously put out but with redactions that, in this version, have been removed. None of the information is particularly game-changing, but I only mention it here because, as we’re chatting about social security numbers… those absolute dinkuses left all the social security numbers in there!
More than 100 staffers of the Senate Church Committee had their socials, birthday places, and birthdays leaked! More than another 100 members of the House Select Committee on Assassinations had their socials leaked as well.
They’re not sending their best, this Trump administration.
Trump v Education
-via AP News
As predicted, on Thursday Trump signed an executive order to dismantle the Department of Education. Also as predicted, he did it in a way that don’t make no dang sense!
On Wednesday he was all we’re getting rid of this thing! Then on Thursday his press secretary said that he was still doing it, but the department would still administer critical things like student loan programs, Pell grants, civil rights enforcement and grant programs that help cover costs of educating students with disabilities. AKA – most of what the department does.
So like – is it cut? What’s cut?
And of course, the cherry on top is that dismantling the department would need to be done by Congress.
So really, the actually news about Thursday is… on Thursday, Trump signed a piece of paper that does nothing except remind of that his signature is weird and, and I truly believe this with my whole soul… has some extra letters in there.
No one ever talks about this, but look at that thing… it looks like there are extra letters in that signature.
George Glezmann
-via CBS News
George Glezmann, who was detained by the Taliban while on a tourist visit to Afghanistan in 2022, has been released and is back here in the States (well, he’s currently on the way back here. By the time you hear this, he’ll be here).
Venezuelans in America
And, as I noted in yesterday’s episode, the Trump administration did have another chance to explain to a judge why they sent three flights of Venezuelans who haven’t even been charged with actual crimes to a horrific El Salvador prison despite being literally told not to do so.
And, as predicted – their response was “woefully insufficient.”
They now have a new deadline of 10 AM today, East Coast time, to explain any decisions regarding the state secrets privilege they believe they want to invoke. Yes, let’s all make this even worse by doing secrets.
At what point do we start calling this a kidnapping?
And then, adding on to that, some Trump lawyers have now decided that the Fourth Amendment, which prevents legal home searches without a court order, is now null and void when it comes to Venezuelans in America, thanks to the Alien Enemies Act of 1789.
Oh, I’m sorry – Venezuelans believed to be in the TDA gang.
Look, don’t fool yourself – he just sent about 250 Venezuelans to El Salvador without ever offering proof of why he thinks they’re in a gang besides just, you know, racism.
This is a wild overreach of law and an incredible violation of the Constitution.
Just when you think we’ve reached the bottom of how terrible this administration is going to be – boom, no more warrants needed before someone has their house searched or is basically kidnapped and removed from the country for the high crime of… being Venezuelan.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of forests.
Shade. Leaves. Dirt. Oh, sometimes a waterfall!
Beauty, ya know?
But more than all the forests in all the land, because you are a surprise waterfall with a rainbow on a long hike… I’m proud of you.