03/24/25
Good morning! It’s Monday, March 24th.
International Day for the Right to the Truth concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims… Day.
There’s gotta be a shorter name for this!
It was created to honor Saint Óscar Romero, an El Salvadorian Archbishop who was assassinated in 1980 by a right-wing pro-government group for speaking out against the military government and their actions towards citizens.
Good thing we don’t have to worry about that now!
And now, the news.
Weekend Shootings
We start how we start here in America, with three dead and fifteen injured after a shooting at a park in Las Cruces, New Mexico, on Friday night.
The shooting started after a fight broke out at an unauthorized car show. Between fifty and sixty casings were found on the scene, meaning multiple shooters and multiple guns were on the scene.
Suspects have not been named but two teens and a twenty-year-old have been arrested in connection.
To make matters worse, it sounds like these car shows normally have a police presence, but due to a funding shortage, no unit was available for most of the night.
A very American tragedy.
And in Houston, six people were injured, including four critically, when someone opened fire a an illegal after-hours bar. No arrests have been made, a search is on for suspects and motive.
Tesla Protests
In Palm Beach County, Florida, a man drove his car into a group of protestors outside of a Telsa dealership on Sunday.
By miracle, no one was hurt.
This was one of a series of protests scheduled to take place on Sunday, adding to protests that have really been going on since Trump was elected and we realized what a big part of all of this that Elon Musk would play.
Attorney General Pam Bondi recently called people who attack Teslas or Tesla dealerships are domestic terrorists. Literally ("Let this be a warning: if you join this wave of domestic terrorism against Tesla properties, the Department of Justice will put you behind bars.").
As of this recording, there has been no comment from Bondi on this attack on people using their First Amendment right to peacefully protest.
Canadian Elections
-via BBC
On Sunday, after a meeting with Governor Central, Canada’s new Prime Minister Mark Carney called for a snap election.
He did so because conservatives in Parliament were polling higher than liberals before Trump started all this dumb 51st state nonsense. However, now voters are worried that conservatives are too ideologically aligned with Trump.
Carney is looking for a strong mandate to deal with Trump and maintain sovereignty.
That’s right… Canada is calling a snap election in order to make themselves politically stronger to protect themselves… from us.
This is literally a storyline on The West Wing and it’s like – it’s funny when it’s happening there.
It is not funny now.
This is so embarrassing.
Also embarrassing? There’s a library that borders Vermont and Quebec. It’s called the Haskell Free Library and Opera House. For the last 104 years, when Canadians wanted to use the library, they would simply walk on 70 feet of American soil, with identifying documents, and then they get to enter the same door the Americans use.
70 feet. So easy.
Except somehow, as I mentioned, we’re in this storyline and so only now Canadians with a library membership will be able to enter through the same door Americans use. Without a membership, they need to enter through the Canadian side of the library. And starting October 1st, all Canadians, regardless of membership status, will have to enter through the Canadian side.
Don’t worry, Americans and Canadians are allowed to talk while in the library.
Just, you know, in quiet hushed voices and only if they’re being polite about Trump, I assume.
This is ridiculous. Man’s never even been in a library! What are we doing here???
From Governor to Guv
Here’s a nothing story that is also confusing… The tabloid outlet The Sun put out a report that King Charles is going to secretly offer Trump a chance for the United States to get back with our ex and join the British Commonwealth.
Why? Who knows.
What proof is there that this is happening? Nothing real except the fact that we live on this timeline and anything is possible as long as it’s bad!
So The Sun posts this story and what happens beyond absurdity?
Trump, the President of the United States (somehow) went to his ironically named Truth Social and posted a screenshot of the article and added “I Love King Charles. Sounds good to me!”
What?
I... um… what??
What is this story?
What is this timeline?
How did we get here? Is this a prank show? This is the weirdest prank show possible.
“Sounds good to me.”
This one’s going to be tough for the American flag-tattooed fanatics of Trump to defend. But somehow I believe they’ll persevere.
Student Loans Switch Hands
Last week, I mentioned that Trump was going to dismantle the Department of Education (who needs a Constitush??) but that most things would continue on. Including student loans.
And that is true, they are technically still letting student loans go forward but, in an attempt to squeeze the department into nothing, student loans will now fall under the Small Business Administration (aka SBA).
Now, to start with, the SBA isn’t equipped for this. They’ve never done anything like this. People are not yet trained to handle the tens of millions of student loans and applications that roll through this country every year.
But to make matters worse, the SBA is currently now being run by Kelly Loeffler. If her name sounds familiar, it’s because she was appointed Senator of Georgia by Brian Kemp in 2020 and held that title for a whole 364 days because she didn’t win her actual election and so the appointment was up when the election went into a runoff. Her loss helped give us Senators Ossoff and Warnock.
She also lied about COVID while also being accused of insider trading of covid-vulnerable stocks on March 19th, 2020.
She used to own the WNBA team Atlanta Dream while also complaining about players having wild ideas like the fact that Black lives do, in fact, matter. In July 2020, she wrote a letter saying players shouldn’t wear shirts that say Black Lives Matter or “Say her Name” in response to the murder of many Black Americans, including Breonna Taylor. Instead, she thought, maybe they should wear American flags.
Okay sure.
Instead, W players wore “vote Warnock” shirts.
If you don’t remember that moment, it was… so cool.
Anyway, that’s Kelly. She’s a bummer. It’s a bummer she’s running the SBA. And to top it all off… as the SBA is being saddled with something they’re already not ready for… Loeffler announced that they’re cutting 43% of the department’s staff.
Neato!
Musk and China
-via The Hill
After I covered it here on this show, proving he is a fan, Trump announced that Musk will not receive the Pentagon’s briefing on our contingency plan for a war with China.
Lol imagine Trump being a fan of this show.
God, imagine him being a fan of anything! Imagine him reading fanfiction or having a Tumblr account back in the day. I truly believe our lives would be better today if he just liked anything more than he liked himself.
Anyway, despite the news breaking on Thursday that Trump’s most special government employee would head to the Pentagon the following day to get a China briefing, Trump announced on Friday that Musk would not get the briefing. He even admitted what we all know… “You know, Elon has businesses in China, and he would be susceptible perhaps to that.”
Duh, man.
Musk did still go to the Pentagon on Friday but apparently, his meeting with Fox News creep Pete Hegseth was on innovation and cutting costs.
So I guess it’s like… we feel better that he didn’t get the briefing but we still don’t feel amazing.
And isn’t that the theme of this time in our lives?
AOC/Bernie Rally
-via CBS News
But if we’re looking for a reason to actually feel better, more confident, on this Monday morning, here’s this.
Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez are on a tour. Singing all the hits. Covering some surprise songs. The best of the best.
Dubbed the "Fighting Oligarchy Tour,” they’re speaking to crowds about fighting back against this administration that gets more and more dangerous by the minute.
In Denver on Friday, they expected 3,000 people to show up to their rally. 3,000 is big. That’s a lot of people.
What they got, instead, was 34,000.
Hours earlier, at the University of Colorado they spoke to a crowd of 11,000.
If the way the world ends is not with a bang but with a whimper, perhaps this seismic crowd is exactly what we need to keep this democracy alive.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Oh wait, I’m sorry, I’m being handed a note from my producer Councilwoman Ruth Meowser Stanton… it says this year the White House easter egg hunter is looking for brand sponsorship. Backers can choose between three options that go from $75,000 to $200,000.
You know what? Forget it. Call Charles – he can have us back.
I’m proud of… people who stand up against human rights violations.
Also cocktails. It’s National Cocktail Day, and everyone deserves a little sweet treat to get us through this administration. Maybe it’s not a cocktail, maybe that’s not your think, but you deserve nice things.
But more than that, because you’re already nice things… I’m proud of you.